Poor Dispicable Little Me

So much going on!  So little time to explain….

For those of you following this little soap opera, you know I have a new job now.  I think I have finally settled in the position now.  I am still learing what all of my responsibilities are because there seem to be new ones that pop up every week.  But that is OK….I’m finally in a cool position doing marketing.  Which brings me to some new hurdles in life.

First hurdle is sitting in a car for a two-hour round trip to work everyday.  Second hurdle, sitting most of the day for my 8-9 hour work day.  Third hurdle, looking at a computer screen for most of it.

So now that I am no longer physical in my job, I have to figure out a way to keep the body looking good.  Food has become more important than ever for me cause with my “Oooo Shinny” disease, hunger can play games with my attention span.

Problems solved????

The drive to work can be a very stressful time.  Most of my commute is spent in a “bamboo splinter shoved up my finger nail” type pain traffic.  Thankfully my wife works in the same vicinity as I do so we commute together, which makes the drive that much better (can you feel the sarcasm?).  She loves a traffic jam as much as a cat loves a bath.  Most of her time is spent in the passenger seat with her head down playing games on her phone while I smile stupidly at all the A-hole Maryland drivers cutting me off, zigzagging all around me, and slamming into each other all over the road and causing even more havoc.  My problem was solved once I took my Prozac!

So sitting most of the day has played one heck of a shake the puzzle box game on my spine.  I have learned that we (those of us that sit in office type chairs) are destroying our bodies each and every day we use those blasted devices that hold our asses off the ground.  My problem was solved two weeks ago when I brought in my exercise ball to sit on instead of using my chair.  Hey, I’m blasting my core and working at the same time!  Plus the majority of us in our office are doing a version of the biggest loser.  So I now have a little added incentive to keep up an active lifestyle.

Those of you that have read me for a while do know I used to be a happy fat kid with a piece of chocolate cake in one hand and a stick of butter in the other.  Now I have done a whole life changing event by going Paleo.  The months I have been learning, experimenting, and living Paleo I have never felt better.

The day I said no more to grains, highly refined foods, anything in boxes, most things in cans, and all fast food I made a life decision that probably has added years to my life.  I have taken some sage advice from some of the Paleo food bloggers that are extreme workout peeps and full-time professionals on meal prep.  I cook huge batches of meals on Sundays so I don’t have to make excuses that there is nothing to take for lunch or there is nothing for dinner.  I don’t want to fall into the eating out all week routine that I once was in.

So yeah, that’s about where I’m at right now.  I work with a bunch of great people and enjoy what I do.

Oh, I almost forgot the funny part of my post!  So I went on a run the other day with two of the girls that are doing the biggest loser at work.  It was cold so I was wearing my black thermal tights and my black UA winter running jacket.  The one girl said I had skinny legs for a guy then the other said with my bald head and what I was wearing I looked like Gru from Dispicable Me.

Yeah, it’s true, I looked like Gru that day.

OK, so you can stop laughing at me now….

Viciously Mediocre

Everything I have been doing lately, of a physical nature, could be rated exactlly as that, viciously mediocre!

I can’t really remember the last post I did for you all.  It has to be at least a month ago.  Since then my wife has come home on a 2 week pass from her deployment.  It was great to see and spend time with her.  But boy did it throw me off track with any kind of training.  Pizza, ice cream and pancakes killed my diet as well.

In those two weeks I gained EVERY single pound I had lost in the first 8 months of her deployment.  Just goes to show how easily one can lose the handle on healthy living.  Not that I blame her for everything.  I made the choice to eat that crap but when I’m the only one that cooks and I have to cook for her and myself and her sister(when she visited)….who wants to cook 6-8-10 different meals in a day?  Ugh!  I have my work cut out for me when she comes back for good in a few months.

Of course I didn’t go back to my healthy ways right away either once she went back.  Again, all personal decisions made by me.

I am happy to say I have worked my ass off the past few weeks.  I have been running regularly and doing some other great workouts that were created by some of you.  So thank you all for that.  I added my own little tweeks but the core of it all was what some of you have shared.

The workouts have been great, the runs have been great but I know I could do better.  Only because I have done better in the past.  I just haven’t been feeling the “greatness” I have felt before.  I have actually felt mediocre.

I made a concious decision to start training for a duathalon again.  Last year I started to train then broke my ankle.  I’m hoping for better results this year.  I’m not sure when or where this duathalon will happen but I will train for one.  I started riding my bike again today!  It felt really good to be back on the road with the wind flying through my helmet and over my bald head.

I do have two positives that have happened recently.  First, I did my body measurements.  I lost over 1 1/2 inches from my waiste.  It doesn’t seem like much but after the jump from the happy healthy wagon I encountered, I’m super thrilled with that.

The second is that we will be moving soon.  I’d rather not say to where right now.  Only because when things seem they are about to happen well in military living, they take a huge 180 degree turn and you end up screwed.  So I don’t want to jinx it, only because this could have a huge change in career potential for me.

Oh I so need to do something mentally satisfying and challenging soon.  Although I have been moved to two different positions since being the produce man, it just doesn’t do it for me.  I have already learned everything there is to know about this job and I have only been in it for a week and a half.  I did have to receive a security clearance (low low low level) to become a receiver for the store, which is a big positive for potential moves up.  Don’t get me wrong, the job is fun and I am still very thankful to be employed.  Some of the cool stuff I can now do is: mess with inventory numbers(not that I do that!) and mark stuff down.  Hey, it’s something.  Plus I now work from 5am or 6 am till 11 or noon.  Which gives me a ton of time to go workout!

Well that is all for now y’all.

Smell ya later!

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Oh What A Relief It Is!

Ha!  I gotcha to click on my post didn’t I?

No I’m not sick.  And no I didn’t have to take any Alka-Seltzer.  Although I have been really tired and cranky lately.  Yesterday I was sick of being tired.  So I did what was best for the blues……a work out!

Not only did I do a great chest and back workout by doing hundreds of push ups and pull ups I did Couch Doug’s killer warmup.

So today I woke up a bit sore and tired still.  So what is the best remedy for that other than an Alka-Seltzer?  If you said: A nice run!  “X” gets a square!

And for this run I had to make a new playlist for the pod-thingy-majigger.  So plop plop fizz fizz goes my new songs into my pod thingy.

My ankle has been bothering me lately so I only wanted to run for 30 or so minutes.  Here is my new inspiration during my run:

Warmup

Come Sail Away by Styx- I like the slow but up tempo beat to the song to wake me up and get the blood flowing.  That and it makes me feel like I am entering a different time and space or dream land so I can run run run….

My warmup consists of some easy stretching and a lot of deep breaths.  Come Sail away with me?

The Run

Wild Thing by Tone-Loc – Let’s Do It!  I love me some old school beats.  I find this to be a great song/rap to get the legs moving at the beginning of a run, especially for someone who has not run in a while.  Plus with the change in weather around here, static is on everything which reminds me of this one line – she was like static cling but that’s what happens when bodies start slappin from doing the wild thing!  And in my case, its my shorts huggin me like static cling from my thighs a-rubbin.  🙂

Bleed It Out by Linkin Park – Diggin deeper to just throw it away!  Perfect song for me to get the gams moving.  Pick up the pace fatty!

Run Like Hell by Pink Floyd-  If you don’t like Floyd….just go away.. Naw, just kidding.  But this is a great song to remind you of what you should be doing while you’re out on the road.  I feel like Roger Waters is yelling at me in this song, which make me run a little faster.  That and have you ever seen the movie Clock Work Orange?  Those English are C.R.A.Z.Y!

Firestarter by Prodigy- There is something about this song that makes me feel like breaking out into some Parkour.  Now that’s some motivation!  I’m the firestarter!  Well, my thighs might start one……oh the dreaded chaffing!

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve-  I like violins….. And isn’t this song really about running?  What else could be so bitter-sweet?

Praise You by Fat Boy Slim- Who doesn’t need a little pat on the back while your running?  That and we really have gone a long way together…. He has to praise me!

Any Way You Want It by Journey- Old school!!!!  All night, Every night!  That’s the way I need it!

The Cooldown

Space Oddity by David Bowie- One of my all-time favorite songs, ever!  This is a great cooldown song for me….I love how I can do a little yoga stretching and end in the corpse position just listening to this song and getting lost in space…. And it reminds me to take my protein pills too.  🙂

Well that’s that for today.  Now stop reading this and go run will ya!?!

The Pursuit For Legs Of Steel

Oh my goodness!  It’s been 7-8 weeks now since I last ran.  And that was because I broke my ankle , not because I’m lazy.  Well, I am but that is not the reason for not running.

Yesterday I had one of my well deserved days off from work, the world, getting up and rushing around.  I did get up super early though.  It was only because I wanted to get a good jump on the day.  I had plans….big plans.  I wanted to run today!  But first I had to take my wife’s car to get the emissions done so I could get the registration renewed.  I was off to a good start.  I medicated and watered the dogs successfully and had a great breakfast.  I even remembered to take a shower!

Keys, wallet, and phone in hand and out the door I went.  I jump in the car and take off to the emissions center.  I knew exactly where it was (I told myself).  It was only 4 miles from my house.  30 minutes later I said to myself I have no idea where it’s at.  I felt so lost I had to pull over in a parking lot to look up the address.  That’s when I realized I drove a good 15 miles in the wrong direction and had to laugh at myself.  Idiot!

Car turned around and headed in the right direction I finally found the place.  Awesome sauce!  There was no line.  I pulled right up to the empty bay and the guy waved me in.  He scanned the bar code on my door and checked my VIN on my hood.  He just smiled and asked, “Did you get something in the mail saying you needed to come in?”

“Yup, sure did.  I have my registration renewal due by the end of the month.”

“Well sir.  You’re not due till December to have this vehicle checked.  Are you sure it was THIS vehicle that needed to be done?”

RUFKM!  I took the wrong car!  It was my wife’s car that needed checked not mine!

It was an honest mistake.  I never drive her car.  In fact, I don’t like driving her tank.  So I avoid even touching it.  So I drove away embarrassed and probably laughed at by the tech.  By the time I got home, now knowing where I am and directions, it was just way to hot to do a run till late at night.

What to do?  What to do?  I busted out an old leg routine I used to do back in Colorado when I would ride my bike a lot.  It had a lot of front squats, dead lifts, hack squats, leg curls and extensions.  I even threw in a bunch of KB swings to add some aerobic activity into this workout.

That routine took a lot out of me since I have been babying my left ankle for so long.  But it did hold up with the strain I just put on it.

Thursday morning:

I wasn’t goona be fooled again by this emissions place.  I was gonna look up to see if my wife’s car even needed the test before I got lost again and killed the nice cool morning air.  Ha! Their website has nothing showing that I need to get the emissions checked.  Well, there is 2 hours saved.

Medicated and water the dogs and had another great breakfast.  I checked my emails and perused the almighty interwebtube for the latest news I may have missed while asleep.  Nothing good, so enough time wasted….lets run!

If you follow my tumbler posts you can see that I was fairly excited but cautious about this mornings run.  I ended up only doing 1 mile.  I had no stamina, none!  I think it took me 20 minutes to run that stupid mile.  Best thing though is that my ankle took the pounding.  Until now…..as I’m writing this I feel it getting all twitchy and achy.  I expect that to happen for a while.  I think I will need to focus on my lower body for some time until I get back to a normal running time.

Well that is the beginning of my pursuit for legs of steel.

 

Just My Luck

Well, it looks like I will need to concede to Jamie for this week’s weigh-in.

Mother Freakin Effeeer! And a bunch of other words I won’t type out…….

So I’m out on a nice run and all of a sudden out of nowhere, the road comes at me.  Or was it more like I went towards the road?  I don’t know and can’t really remember because of the blinding pain I felt when it happened.  It felt like someone shot me in the leg.  Not that I know what it is like to be shot but I’m sure that is what it would feel like.

Oh man!  I dropped to the ground like someone cracked open a pinata at a birthday party.  At first I was laying in the road and said F it, I’m gonna die right here.  What do I do?  Do I call out for help (I really couldn’t move)? Do I stay here in the  fetal position and cry?  Do I crawl into the sewer drain? What????

Then I realized exactly where I was and pulled myself into the front yard of someone that had a huge killer attack dog looking out the window at me.  Oh great!  Yeah, I felt like a Snausage right then.  But I would have a better survival rate with a dog  than the SUV barreling down towards me.

I still don’t really know what happened.  So I looked around to see WTH I stumbled on.  There was this miniature boulder hiding in the shade of the only tree on the street.  Stupid rock!  Stupid tree casing it’s shade hiding the stupid rock!

I managed to pull up my skirt Man-Up and tried to stand up so I could walk home.  By now I was more pissed off than anything.  I was so pumped to get a good run in before work.  Oh yeah, I had to call off today.  That was a colossal effort too.  I’m a damn cashier and I have to talk to 4 different managers and 2 supervisors to tell them what happened and why I won’t be able to stand for 6 hours and smile at customers……REALLY?  Let’s see, how can I put this so the powers that be will understand….I rolled my GD ankle and I have a baseball sized bump trying to escape from my skin!  Now, may I please be excused from work 6th person I talked to?

Naw, I didn’t say all that.  I don’t remember saying please….

Well, I’m gonna lay in my bed and cry a little before I go to the hospital…….I’m not one for ERs so I made an actual appointment. But it’s not until 2:20.

Oh, and if you want to send me a get well card, I’ll shoot you my address. 🙂

My Secret iPod Playlist

Hey Everyone!

I’m having a sleepless night so I thought I would write a little bloggy thing for you to read in the morning with your coffee.

Some of you may know that I’m in a battle of weight loss with fellow bloggymabobber Jamie @ The Life of Jamie.  And you may have read that I’m in the lead of the competition after the first week (barely, like by the thickness of the icing on a 10 cent cupcake in the dollar store).  So the next question in your head should be, “Well Mike, how on earth are you doing it?”

That would be a great question if I had that snappy smart like answer for it.  But I don’t.  So I won’t try and answer it.  But I will tell you how I stay motivated on my semi long runs.  It’s all in my smartly chosen secret playlist.  And I’m gonna share it with you.  Aren’t I just a swell guy?  Say yes!  And maybe I will do a shirtless pick at the end of this whole painful weight loss ordeal.

So on with THE PLAYLIST:

Song – Change by the Deftones

Why – It’s my stretching/wake up song.  It’s the perfect length at 5 min for me to do my huggers, arm swirlies (yeah, I said swirlies), quad stretch and bending over to tighten my shoe laces which constitutes my hammy stretch.

Song – Let’s Get It Started by the Black Eyed Peas

Why – It’s all about getting it started….why else?

Song – Smack That by Akon featuring Eminem

Why – I like the beat!  It gets me into a good stride rhythm.  Plus I like a little rap…..by now my shorts are also saggin a little too

Song – Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas

Why – By now I am ready to pick up my pace and get up my first hill.  Who’s up for some Monkey Business? Get it?  If not look the song up…..

Song – I Got A Felling by the Black Eyed Peas

Why – I got a felling that those hills just killed my legs…..time for the down hill!!!!!

Song – Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson

Why – I need reminded of why I run.  We all need to runaway sometimes.

Song – Just Dance by Lady Gaga and someone I’ve never heard of

Why- Don’t Judge me!  I like this song plus it’s hill time again!  Can you visualize me doing a cha cha or something like that to this song going up a hill?

Song – Blue Monday by Orgy

Why – It’s nice and fast for the down hill!  Plus their name is Orgy (snicker…)  Tell me how does it fell to treat me like you do…..

Song – Somebody I Used To Know by Gotye

Why – It’s a catchy tune!  Unfortunately for those houses I run by they hear me sing it….She didn’t have to cut me off!

Song – Imma Be by the Blacked Eyed Peas

Why – Hill time again.  That and I use the song to trick my brain into thinking about the movie ” The Other Guys” while getting through the pain of these damn hills.  Also…Imma be Imma be Imma be writin all over Jamie’s blog!

Song – Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People

Why – Down hill time…..and all the other kids with the pumped up kicks ya better run better run faster than my bullet….run run run

Song – Galvanized by The Chemical Brothers

Why – It’s one of the last songs of the day.  It reminds me to leave it all on the road!

Song – Du Hast by Rammstein

Why – I need a little angry music to get me to the end…..You have asked me and I’ve said nothing! (Just a little translation for you non German speakers)

Song – We Are Young by Fun.

Why – I’m at the end and cooling down!  Tonight we are young….. So who’s gonna carry me home?

So there you have it…..a good 6 miles of music with warm up and cool down.

Who wants to go for a run?

Been Gettin Any……….Exercise?

Howdy my blog-o-thingy friends!  How has Wednesday treated you?

If you have been following me on my Tumblr Bloggy Thingamabob you have been kept up to date on how my last two days off have gone.  If you have not, you just made me cry a little inside.  Do you feel bad?  Good!  Now go check it out!

Wait!  Not yet….finish reading this first.  Geez, you’re in such a hurry to leave me.

OK, so here is the deal.  I will give you a pass on missing my Tumbler blogs (I’m still crying if you care).  But you have to start checking them out.

Anyway, I will fill you in with what I have been doing. 

Here is the short story:

2 days off = Exercise Exercise Exercise and more Exercise with some really super healthy eating.

Now for the in-depth version..

Tuesday

The Plan: Run 5 miles then as fast as possible transition to cycling 50 miles.

What happened: Ran 6 miles and had a slow transition to cycling 40 miles.

Wednesday

The Plan: Run 6 miles then as fast as possible transition to cycling 50 miles

What Happened: Ran 6 miles and had a super slow transition to cycling 36 miles.

Food was the same for both days.  Here is what I ate:

A big thanks to Stephanie at My Glorified Journal for my breakfast recipe of Scrambled egg whites, Steamed green beans, and sweet potato with some red pepper.  Shhhh, don’t tell anyone about it….it’s her secret figure competition recipe!  But holy crap it was good!

Lunch was a whole wheat bow tie pasta with asparagus, carrots, spinach, tomatoes, garlic and a lot of hot sauce.  And of course my protein shake….. (there’s a picture on Tumblr)

Remember? Like this but different!

Dinner was my famous stuffed peppers with shredded chicken and salsa.  If you like super hot food use the Hunky Hot peppers, if not, then use your favorite color bell pepper. (there’s a picture on Tumblr……somewhere)

 

I finished off with some desert.  I had some fresh pineapple, a peach and a few hand fulls of shelled peanuts.  I’ll share a trick with ya.  If you get the peanuts in shells it takes you longer to eat them and allows your body to realize its consuming something, plus they’re cheaper to buy. Therefore, allowing you to eat less!  All finished off with another protein shake….

So I didn’t go all low carb on this episode of super healthy days but I did burn a few gazillion calories….and I stayed away from foods like…

Who needs drama like this anyway?

So Mike, why didn’t you meet your planned goals?  Good question!  Well, ya see, ummm…remember my post My Poor Body?    Yeah?  Well, my neck started to do it’s “I’m gonna F#<% with your life” thing again.  I’m learning to deal with most of the pain but it sure does SUCK!  The position my bike puts my body in is not very neck pain friendly.  So I did what I could without being a total….

Well, back to work tomorrow……

Thanks for stopping by!