The End Of The Bloggymabobber Weight Loss Challenge

I am usually one to write and allow you to stew in the juice of anticipation of climax to my story.  But today I just don’t have it in me to do that to you.

As many of you know, those that read my blog (not sure who else I am writing to….if you don’t read my blog I have no other way to reach you) that Jamie @ The Life of Jamie and I entered into a gentleman’s agreement (at least on my part it was) to see who could lose the most body weight by the end of July.

My adventure has been somewhat up and down, mostly down.  Yes, I did lose weight but not to max ability.  Jamie traveled all the way from Jamie-ville and planted a rock in my running path that caused me to break my ankle.  This happened in the infancy of our challenge.  I never had the chance to “Get at it” like I wanted.  I had big plans and high hopes that this challenge would help in my pursuit of prime conditioning for the half marathon and duathalon I had planned on entering.

Sometimes my little jockey gets confused and jumps on the back of random stray dogs.

As you read about my journey trying to lose weight with a broken ankle I hopefully painted a picture of a guy that wouldn’t go down easily.  Let me tell you, I used a lot of paint trying to create that picture.  Every step with this broken ankle was like someone hitting me with a bag of horseshoes.  At least now I only have a small jockey sitting on my back hitting me with a riding crop in the ankle.  And if you don’t get my analogies, I put on a brave face, it hurt and still hurts… 😦

I think I still have a good 2 weeks before I’m at full capacity.  But I have a new pair of Brooks Adrenaline GTS 12 running shoes set to arrive on Wednesday!!!!  We’ll see if I can keep them in the box until I heal to 100% or if I feel the need to take them out for diner and a movie.  And by diner and a movie I mean a nice long run.

Ok, well this isn’t about what I am going to do or what I wanted to do.  This post is about what I did and what I accomplished.  Which wasn’t much.  So here is my final weight….(hold the snickers and giggles)

You better not be laughing at my yellow socks. These have a great compression that let my legs go Ahhhhhh!

So where does this leave us?  I started at 229 pounds (that’s a lot of weight but I make it look good) down to 225.6 pounds.  I will take the loss that I achieved since the ankle hindered my ability to do any type of cardio.

What about the final tape?  Ugh, alright I will go and tape myself….hold on!

 11-Jun-12 Right Left
 body measurment Bicep 16 15 3/4
Quad 25 25
Calf 17 16 1/2
Neck 16 1/2
Chest 47
Waist 40
31-Jul-12 Right Left
body   measurment Bicep 16 1/4 16
Quad 26 26
Calf 17 16 1/2
Neck 17
Chest 47 1/2
Waist 38

So it looks like the push ups and pull ups I was able to still do did their job and gained me some size in the chest and neck.  And setting up my bike on an indoor trainer and ride along with the pros during le Tour de France worked for my thighs too!

I would post an after picture but I’m dead tired right now and my allergies are kicking my ass.  You don’t want to see my red puffy eyes and drippy nose anyway.

I know Jamie originally posted that her goal was to lose about 6 pounds which meant I had to lose 10 to match her.  I am not sure where she fell in with her total goal but I know I sure didn’t hit mine.

If you win Jamie, I bow to your superiority.  You have total control of Big Mike’s World for the week.  If you wish to take me on with all of my paws in working order we can take this on again in a few weeks.  This would have been more fun with two working legs but you know, it is what it is….

Thanks for the challenge!

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A Little Addition To The Commissary Diaries

OK, so I can’t sleep.  What else is there to do but share a little something else from work.  There is a little segment I would like to add to The Commissary Diaries called:

No Eye for The Straight Guy.

During my lunch breaks I sit outside and people watch as I eat my sandwich.  I see a lot and I mean a lot of people who need fashion help.  But I’m just gonna pick on the men I see.  Only because I know nothing about women’s fashion.

Now I’m not claiming to be some fashion mogul or anything like that.  I’m the farthest thing from it.  But I have learned from past mistakes.  For example: in high school I had long hair….along the lines of a mullet.  I was Joe Dirt before it was a movie.  Although I had more facial hair.  Anyway, for some reason I wanted my straight hair to be curly.  I was tired of being bland.  Being the poor kid in school wasn’t ruining my cool status enough.  Why not get a perm?!?  You know, something that every teen decides to do on a whim.  OK, so you see where I’m coming from.  Mistakes have been made and lessons have been learned.

Let me start this new subsegment off with something else that I have done and learned not to do.

Tucking in your Polo shirt.  Unless you’re wearing it with dress pants or you’re playing in the PGA or even doing a photo shoot for Abercrombie and Fitch, just don’t do it.  It’s not cool and it almost always proves you’re a douche.  You might as well finish it off with a collar pop…

Only old people and those with OCD tuck everything in.  Kind of like my old college roommate who tucked his t-shirt into his underwear before he went to bed.  I’m still creeped out by that!

Why do I bring this up?  Well, I work with a guy that does this.  No, not into his underwear.  Well, maybe but I wouldn’t know.  We’re not that kind of friends.  He is a great guy but I just can’t get over his tucked in Polo shirts.  He wears jeans and we are in a casual work environment.  So no tuck is in order.  He’s also at that age where body parts are becoming elongated and distorted.  There are just no clothes made for someone who has that in between body type.  He is slim but his butt is creeping up higher on his back and his hips seem to just not fit his body any more.  So tucking in the shirt does him no justice.

Here is my last no-no for the day.  Guys, if you don’t live in Europe, don’t wear these!  Especially if you are supposed to be taken seriously like this other guy at work……he tucks his polo shirt in too!

Excuse me sir…..is this your man purse?

I don’t care how hot you think you are, there is nothing sexy about a man’s lower shin.  Except for mine of course.  I mean seriously, where’s the flood?  Did you not know the 24 inch length pants would be too short?  I don’t get it which means you shouldn’t buy it.  If you own a pair of these, do yourself a favor and cut them off at the knees and let the strings hang.  At least you could say you’re hanging onto the 80’s or something.

Until next time…..comb your hair, brush your teeth and look in the mirror before you leave the house cause I’ll be watching for you!

The Commissary Diaries

Well hello there fellow blogomites.  As many of you know blogging is an adventurous way in sharing what interests us.  Some share our trials and tribulations, our excursions, or our achievements.  I want to start a little something that none of you will ever get to experience personally, my work environment as seen through my eyes.  I have a feeling that there are going to be many wonderful, funny and probably some irritating stories to share with you from my time at work.  I have already shared a story or two with you but I want to do a specific category for these now.

So to celebrate the new category, hows about a story???  Grab a cup of your favorite beverage and call the family in the room.  It’s time for your first episode of The Commissary Diaries.

Today began as a normal everyday Monday.  I walked into work with seconds to spare before I got the stink eye from the boss.  And by boss I mean my supervisor.  She has no real power.  She carries a key and makes our schedule.  And it’s not even a magical key.  So she is nothing special outside of her title.  Anywho, I worked my way toward the end of my shift with my feet screaming for me to cut them off.  I was breaking in my new pair of steel toes.  The job buys new employees steel toes (or as they call them, safety shoes) for the times that we work in the grocery section.  You never know when a frozen 30 pound turkey will fly out of nowhere and land on your feet.

So there I am; standing in front of my register lane awaiting to wave down potential victims to intoxicate with my false enthusiastic verbal spew, and then I peer down a few registers from mine.   There was this older couple unloading their basket of goodies.  The couple had to be at least in their 80’s if not older.  The wife was kind of just looking off into the distance.  She was positioned in a manner that made standing look like an unbearable struggle.  The husband had a tall large stature.  You could tell by his determination to unload their consumables as fast as his aged body would allow that he has lived a full life.  His arms were littered with wrinkled one colored tattoos.  I could just imagine the stories this old veteran could tell. If he wrote a book about them I would be the first in line to get it.

A second man appeared out from behind the magazine display by the register.  He appears to be their son.  He stood by the basket assisting the elderly man by retrieving the items that were deep within the basket.  This man also seemed to be a bit old himself.  His movements were a bit slow and deliberate.  He also only retrieved one item at a time.  I thought nothing of it as I figured that is all the older gentleman could probably handle at one time.  The younger man stopped unloading to attend to the woman.  She had to be this man’s mother.  He reached over with his left hand and hugged the woman then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.  As he moved away he gave her a pat on the shoulder as if to say everything is alright.    I could tell he was saying something but I’m no lip reader.  The man did this act three times within a five-minute span as I watched.

The store was really empty today.  There were only a few customers roaming around.  I figured since I wasn’t waiting on anyone at the time that I should go down and help this family out.  If anything I could speed up their unloading process.  On my little stroll down I noticed the younger man had a Disney Land hat on.  I noticed the hat before but couldn’t make out the decal on the front.  It was a bit beat up but still had a firm flat looking bill.  It laid a little awkward on his head as if he bumped it leaning a little too far into the basket.  But I don’t see how since they haven’t really reached the bottom yet.

As I got a little closer the younger man reached over to hug the woman again and patted her on the shoulder.  I greeted the family and offered my assistance.  At this point the younger man had his back to me setting an item on the register belt.  The older man said he appreciated my offer but their son really enjoys unloading the basket.  I said that is fine and if they changed their minds I would be a few steps away.  The younger man turned around and said, “Thank you but I can do it.”  His voice was a bit mumbly and hard to hear.  I then got a really good look at this man.  He definitely was at least in his 50’s.  He had the pear shaped body type going for him.  He also had on some really thick eye glasses and had some grey and white stubble on his face.  The most memorable thing was his constant smile.  It was almost literally ear to ear.  As I walked away the man did his hug, kiss and pat routine.  I then heard what I had seen him mouth from afar, “I love you Mama!”

If you couldn’t tell by my description of the younger man, he was developmentally disabled.

I got all emotional and almost teared up.  I could feel the love this man had for his parents.  I really could.  I am not sure why this affected me as much as it did.  I was having a rough day but nothing unusual from the typical commissary day.  But for the small amount of time that I saw this man’s gesture toward his parents just brightened my day.

Thank you kind sir, thank you!

Fat & Happy

So it’s Saturday and time for me to take the walk of the deep end onto the scale.  If I can just say this, I really hate Saturdays.  Not because it symbolizes the first day of the end of the work week (cause we all love our jobs, right?) but because for at least the next week or so I have to show the boggymabobber world on this magic cord called the inter webz the weight of my fat ass.

So here ya go, have your good laugh….

I’m holding a keg of beer in one hand and a dozen doughnuts in the other. You figure out how I took the picture.

Oh wait!  I didn’t gain weight….

I must be honest here.  I really was dreading this weigh in.  Not because I just blew off the last weigh in and had no idea if I lost or gained but because the past 2 nights I have been playing softball (Yeah, my ankle is still on the mends).  We all know what happens when one plays softball, right?  One drinks an absorbent amount of beer.  You know, to hydrate!  That Gatorade stuff is only hype.  Beer has more natural ingredients than Gatorade.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

So now that I have tested my ankle out and successfully not re-injure it in two nights of running, jumping, diving and swearing…..I’m gonna put some effort into losing some weight in this last week of the Bloggymabobber Weight Loss Championship Challenge.

I may not win this challenge but the fact that my ankle has held up and I was still able to lose some weight, I feel like this little guy….

They said I couldn’t do it. But I tried and tried and tried and finally caught my tail!

Until next time peeps…….Live long and prosper!  \\\//

 

 

I Think I’m Engaged To A TSA Agent Now!

Howdy Ho Peeps!  So yesterday was Sunday, right?  I have completely lost track of days.  I know!  My wife has only been gone for 1 day and I have already fallen apart.  Go figure….. Just don’t tell her.

Anyway, as some of you may have read in my last post, my wife is now in UncleSamAStan for a whole year.  I always hate saying goodbye..especially when it’s to the Mrs.  And in a highly public place like the airport.  It’s bad enough I had my Robo Cop boot on hobbling around, she was also in uniform, which is always good for a few stares.

This will make her third deployment.  She just got home from her last one a few months ago.  I don’t think either one of us were truly ready for this one but it is one of those things that just isn’t controllable.   I don’t even think we were really reintegrated yet from her coming home 5 months ago either.  And to make things even more annoying, our 14th anniversary is tomorrow.  I would say this is one of the things you get used to happening when you’re a military spouse, all the missing of special days that is.

Enough of the sappy sobby crap…..I have a funny story to tell you!  Well, funny to me cause I was there and because it happened to me.  So on to the true and funny blog fodder.

The day is Sunday, early morning.  I laid in my bed eagerly awaiting for my phone alarm to completely wake me up.  This was an exciting and sad day.  Today was my first day back to work after gaining the official knowledge of my ankle being broken.  Oh yeah, and my wife was deploying.  The car was packed with her 20 duffel bags weighing about 70 pounds each filled with only “essential” items, of course.

We had plans to leave early enough to fit in a sit down breakfast somewhere before the trek out to the airport.  I had the idea of going to Ihop.  Why not keep her fat and happy while I can before she is subjected to the indigenous Peoples of Afghanistan that work in the DFAC (Dining Facility) spit in her food.  The Ihop experience was also going to count as our anniversary celebration (we don’t go out a lot, we are old and boring).

Breakfast was awesome and fattening!  Now on to the airport.  The 45 min drive was less than exciting.  It usually is.  The time was spent doing a mental check of the packing list of her bags.  All was there….we hoped.

Surprisingly, parking was super easy to find.  We had the spot right by the beginning of the cross walk to the terminal.  Jackpot!  Well at least for the cripple in me.  The gentleman I am dragged the heavier of the bags while I allowed the Mrs. to drag the light gun case in so she could say she had total control of it from receipt to delivery.  You know, don’t mess with TSA!

The baggage check-in was fairly short and the lady behind the counter seemed to have a head on her shoulders.  She was on the ball and helped as much as she could to speed up our process.  We then dragged the bags over to the big gorilla TSA agents to scan her bags.  We had to wait for a “special” check on her gun case.  I was waiting for the genius to say there was gunpowder residue on the case…….(que Final Jeopardy song)

We got the thumbs up and we headed to the nearest seats to kill some time before the Mrs. had to fight through the security lines.  We were sitting there for maybe 10 min and this customer service agent from Southwest Airlines came over to us.  She could tell the Mrs. was a bit teary and asked if she was coming or going.  I/she said she was on her way out for a year.  The lady asked to see my ID card and she would be right back.

That awesome lady gave me a “fake” ticket to walk my wife to her gate so I could spend as much time with her as I could!  You can cry now if you so choose.

I was like, crap, now I have to stick around longer?  I was hoping to drop and dash….I gots things to do!  Thanks for nothin lady..

No, not really!  I was grateful but not enough to remember the lady’s name.  That was pretty much the last thing on my mind.

So we proceeded to the priority security line….yeah, that’s how I roll.  Unfortunately that still led us to the same lines with the people who have 10 out-of-control kids.  Take your damn shoes off Joey!!!  I was about to throw the damn kid in the x-ray machine myself if he didn’t take those freakin shoes off!

OK, so here is the funny part of my story.  No pressure but feel free to laugh at your leisure.

So, the St. Louis airport makes you basically take all of your clothes off to go through security.  Which for me is not usually a problem.  But I happen to be going commando and I had on some super big waisted shorts only being held up by the belt that I now had to take off!

OK, so to explain the shorts…. I haven’t worn shorts out in public in years because of the grotesqueness of my legs.  And since my leg surgeries I have to wear those knee-high compression socks. Long black compression socks and shorts don’t go together.  So I haven’t had a need to buy new shorts in years except for the stuff I wear to workout in.  These specific shorts I happened to grab to wear this fine day were 40 inch waist and I now wear 36 waist.  Can you see where I’m goin with this yet????

I was like, ummmmmmmm, I’m not sure this is gonna work hun.  I wasn’t about to not go through though.  I’m sure I was at the point of no return in the security process to try and backtrack without looking like a terrorist.  So I pressed on.  Off with the boot…off with the shoe….and for the sneak peek exclusive viewing of a clip from the movie Magic Mike…….off with the belt!

Yeah, picture me standing there waiting in line with one hand holding my shorts up and the other holding my wallet and ticket.

St. Louis has those special see through your clothes machines now.  If you have not been through one of these…HA!  They not only get to see the outline of your body, they make you stand there like and idiot with BOTH hands held above your head!  Did I mention I had to use one hand to hold my shorts up?  Did I mention security makes you put BOTH hands above your head?  I think we are all on the same page now.

So I had to quickly figure out how the hell I was going to keep my shorts up while following procedure.  I looked at the TSA guy and said if I put both hands up, you probably won’t need the machine to see I am not hiding anything.  He kinda looked confused.  Then I leaned toward him and told him my predicament.  He said do my best but with BOTH hands in the air.  OK my brother!  Things are about to get real up in here…. One hand goes up.  I look back over at him.  No help there.  I try to tug my shorts up as high as possible and get in a ballet plie stance and quickly raise my other hand.  I said OK go!!!  5 seconds pass and my shorts start sliding…..10 seconds pass and they slide just a bit more.  20 seconds now and I’m reaching critical stage here……30 seconds now and I think they are just messin with me cause here comes some crack!  “OK sir you are good.  Now stand at the end of the carpet and wait.”  Whaa????

Yeah, they wanted to mess with Big Mike just a little more.  I had no idea what was going on.  Then it dawned on me….I was the lucky randomly selected individual to get the PAT DOWN!  So I walk to the end of the carpet and there stands this female TSA agent.  I was like hell yeah!  Can I get your number?  Then as I finished that thought the same dude from the body scanner came over and relived the girl so he could do the prostate exam.  This dude just won’t cut me a break!  I think he just wanted to see if what he saw on the scan was true 🙂

So he says to hold my arms out shoulder height.  I looked at him and said didn’t we just go over this situation back at the scan?  He was like, oh.  I said whatever and gave him a shoulder shrug.  I proceeded to say, well don’t be surprised if you see I am nuts over you when you are feeling my knee. 🙂  He then allowed me to hold the opposite side of my shorts that he wasn’t patting down to ensure he didn’t get poked in the eye on his way back up.  I swear he was purposely tugging down on my shorts to see if I was lying.  He also got really “frisky” with his pat down.  I didn’t mind.  That was the last action I was gonna see for a year!

Well, I survived my first scan and pat down from TSA.

The really odd thing though, when I got home, I found a guys name and phone number written on a piece of paper in my pocket.?.?

Hurry Up And Weight

Well, it’s Sunday and I obviously didn’t post my Saturday weight report for the Weight Loss Bloggymabobber Challenge……and that is because I just didn’t want to!  It was more like I chose to spend the last whole day I had with my wife before I saw her off on her 1 year deployment, today.  So I hope you accept my excuse, if not, then tough noogies!

Either way, there is not much to report.  I did gain weight but that is more because of me not being allowed to do anything.  All this weight seemed to hit me in one day. And before you start doing the Happy Happy Joy Joy dance, Jamie……..let me tell you my gains.

6 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!

And in this picture you will see my 6 pound gain was all on one leg.  So HA, Jamie!  Not so fast with your cheering and celebration.

The instruction pamphlet says it’s about 6 pounds but after standing for 5 hours with it on it feels like 20 pounds

To all of my Bloggy Friends…thanks for your well wishes.  Things are getting better.  I can feel all the little medical gremlins magically gluing my tendon back to it’s original position on my ankle.  Only 4 more weeks with this stupid boot and I can do some rehab.  Let’s just see how long I can follow orders.  This boot might have to go MUCH sooner.

I did go back to work today, finally.  Now that I have my moon boot, I can stand without putting all my weight on my ankle which is supposedly bad for a broken ankle.  But I think I will give the docs here another week to solidify their conclusion that it truly is a break and not change their minds yet again.  Who knows…I could just be a hang nail.