Real Men Shave Their Legs…..or So I Thought

So today I had a day off of work.  What a needed break.  LOL!  If you don’t remember I just had a 3 day weekend not too long ago.  But hey, who am I to complain?  Since I have been going hard with exercise I decided to take today off completely and let the body relax.  Plus it was wicked hot out and the wind is blowing like a hurricane.  That combination of weather makes running or biking unfun.  Yeah, I just made up a new word.  Add that to your Webster’s Dictionary and put it right beside google, bling and getting chocolate wasted.

Like this but different 🙂

I decided to make good use of my time off.  I ran some errands to include grocery shopping….at my place of work.  I know, I know.  Why would I do that?  But the prices are the best around and it’s so darn close to my house.  That and all day yesterday at work people were buying some awesome looking veggies and fruit.  I wanted some!  I had to pass on the $7 a pound cherries but grabbed some nice looking Macintosh apples for mid day snack.  We have this really great pepper in the store called the Hunky Hot.  It is basically a really long pepperoncini.

Speaking of Hunky Hots…. 🙂   Great segway if you ask me…

I read an article online today about body grooming.  I thought the article was funny.  Only because someone is trying to tell me whether or not it was OK for me to shave my legs or if I shaved my arms I needed to shave my shoulders and back too!  Who is this person to tell me what to do?

Now before I share what was really in the article, I have learned that there is a secret to body grooming for both male and female.  The secret is….you don’t tell anyone you do it or it will seem weird!  Or in my world; funny, good blog material and a true story!

I think I have already told you that I am a cross between an ape and Robin Williams when it comes to hair coverage.  I don’t know why.  It could be because I ignored and tempted fate on all the old wive’s tales about stuff like that when I was little.

  • I ate the crust on bread but never got curly hair.
  • I stepped (jumped really hard) on every single crack in the sidewalk and still never broke my mother’s back.
  • My face never stayed in the funny face position.  Well, that one may have come true…..
  • And when I found out about my sexual ability, I never went blind! 🙂

OK enough about me….time for the article review!

Do — Trim armpit hair  /  Don’t — Shave armpits bare

If his head looks like this..Imagine what his armpits look like!

Their take: Short armpit hair is good unless you’re a model and you will sweat less…

My take: They start the damn article off with a lie!  Less hair does not = less sweat.  It does however mean less stink!  I want equal rights too!  Who made models so special?

Do — Groom chest hair  /  Don’t — Go Brazilian or bare everywhere

Good use of manscaping but Hugh, you still don’t have anything on me buddy!

Their take: Some hair on the chest is good for finger running but not wooly mammoth length. But no hair is OK too.

My take:  Will ya make up your mind, please?  Some, a little, none but not all.  WTH!  And since when did the Brazilians get the corner of the market on being hairless?  Didn’t the Mexican Hairless dog start the trend?  Either way, I’m not so sure if I want to follow the ideas of a country that only has cocaine and being hairless going for them.

Do — Get rid of shoulder and back hair

And NO! This is not me!

Their take:  It’s unsightly at best!  Get rid of it all!

My take:  OK, I can see how it could be gross.  Especially in the throws of passion, to grab a hand full of soggy back hair…LOL!  I’m glad I’m not a woman….I’m also waiting for the cops to knock on my door to warn me to stop walking in front of our windows with my shirt off.  You’re scaring the children, sir!!!  Look mommy!  Sasquatch!  EEEEKK!

Do — Keep it trimmed down there  /  Don’t — Shave patterns

Their take:  A clean playing field is good to go!

Again NO! This is not me!

My take:  I get it.  A clean field is gtg for me too.  The twig and berries will look bigger and cleaner with less shrubbery.  But look, I believe in keeping a good appearance but if I want to shave an arrow pointing down at my Mr. Happy…I’ll do it!

So what’s my total take on Manscaping?  It’s great but don’t take it to extremes, I guess.  The word is also way too close to sounding like a chore.  And my honey-do list is long enough, if you know what I mean…wink! wink!

Now go away!  I need some privacy……..I’m Manscaping!

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Debate of The Week #8

It must be Friday because it’s time to drop your socks and grab your tux again for Big Mike’s Debate of the Week!

Again, Sorry I haven’t been writing but I am catching up with the mixing life, honey-do lists and a job.  To recap the last Debate of the week I asked you what was better to do in order to get clean, a bath or shower?

I think the comments spoke for themselves.  The shower was unanimous!  But some of you did state that a bath is much better for a relaxing soak for the aches and pains that haunt our aging bodies.  I would also like to give an honorable mention to body sprays as a suggestion as well.  Puke!!!!  I remember the first time I ever witnessed a guy, who I played softball with, spray his entire body down with some concoction that was close to the smell of a mixture of fresh cut wood, an expired baby diaper and old woman’s perfume.  Worst thing ever!!!  Not sure why he just didn’t take a shower….

Anyway that was probably our most popular debate yet!  Thank you everyone for participating!

Now on to this weeks DEBATE OF THE WEEK!

I’ve dug deep into my bag of topics for this week.  And I think this will shake things up a bit for you all.

Most of you are experiencing some great weather around the world.  Tis the season to get out and enjoy the sun.  With great weather comes outside activities along with romping in the grass like little kids playing ring around the rosie.

This week I want to debate about sports.  Why not?  I’m back on the field myself and am in the mood to talk some sports.  But wait!  Don’t click that red box with the white X just yet, you sports haters.  You haven’t heard the sports yet…..

Let’s discuss Thumb Wrestling (TW) vs Rock Paper Scissors (RPS).

I think I need to first defend whether or not these are even sports.  I say yes and because of this reason alone…..They have governing bodies that oversee each sport.  Don’t believe me?  Google it!  Thumb wrestling has the Thumb Wrestling Federation and its president is Newt Knuckle.  Still don’t believe me?  I just finished reading all about it on a Wiki post on the internet.  If it’s on the internet, it must be true!

How about Rock Paper Scissors?  This is even more legit because there is a World Series of RPS.  But the main body that monitors leagues and tournaments is The World Rock Paper Scissors Society.  Don’t believe me again?  Google it!  I know how to do research and I did it!

When I was doing my “research” I saw so many ways I could go with my decision.  Each sport has it’s own attraction for me.  I grew up playing RPS on the school bus every morning on the way to school.  My buddy Dan and I got so into the game we created so many different weapons we had to write them down with the symbol that we created for the weapon.  I think we even created a gesture for a bomb that beat all but could only be used once a day.  I loved the bus ride in to school.  That is, until we made that turn into the unloading zone for school.  But for that 40 min before we reached that point I had no care in the world but what my buddy Dan was going to gesture next in our extended version of RPS.

I was never good at thumb wrestling when I was little.  Well the actual wrestling part that is, I’ll explain later.  I had small hands.  Which was only good for making things look larger than they really are… 🙂  I didn’t really have my growth spurt until my sophomore year in high school.  At that point I became a bit larger than everyone else.  Anyway, I did have a super power that did help stall the TW match until the school bell rang for change of class.  My super power was that I could dislocate my thumbs and cock them back so that they could not be reached.  I can also bend both of my thumbs backwards and touch my wrist……..Weird, I know!  I have autographed pictures of myself showing off my champion thumb.  If you want one, send me a SASE and I’ll ship one out to ya.

So now that you have a brief history of my association with these sports, and they are sports!  Hey!  If ESPN can advertise poker as a sport and broadcast it on their network I can sure as crap call these two time honored pass-times a sport on my blog!

It is now time for me to pick a sport and give you some of the pros and cons…

I am going with RPS!  At my age I am more into the non-contact sports.  That is, more of not holding another adults hand and playing thumbsies.  I also am more aware of the ability of contracting another’s cooties and getting swine flu, typhoid or whatever they may have lingering on their hands.

Probably the best thing about RPS in this day and age is that we can play the game in real time from across the world through video chat on a computer or our smart phones.  Yes, I know there are video games for both of these but there is nothing like the real thing.

With RPS the rules are pretty straight forward, my gesture either beats yours or not.  With TW there are so many technical aspects.  Did the person really do the 3 count legal before the start or did he jump the 3 count to get an unfair advantage?  I guess that is why there are sanctioned events with refs to figure that stuff out.

Oh and have you ever played TW with someone that has sharp nails?  It’s like playing with Freddie Kruger or Wolverine.  There has to be a rule against that…..I would think.

You aint got nothing on me Hugh Jackman!  If that is your real name.

And for you geeks out there, yes, I know Wolverine does not have a thingymabobber shooting out of his thumb.  It’s for effect and you just ruined it!

A side note: Did you all hear Hugh admit to doing a party pump before scenes like this pic so he could look all jacked for the camera?  Sorry Hugh, not all of us can naturally look like me.  But I guess you gotta do what ya gotta do.

So there you have it folks.  I picked Rock Paper Scissors over Thumb Wrestling.

How about you?

Which one do you prefer and why?

If you don’t care for either, do you have a similar game you enjoy? (and don’t say Jacks or Tiddly Winks that’s not similar)

And to round out your day, I give you some words of……..well, I guess wisdom:

Go to bed with an itchy bum, wake up with a stinky finger!

And finally I leave you with some thought provoking words:

When you say the word poop, your mouth makes the same shape as your butt hole does.  The same can be said for explosive diarrhea!

I bet you will try saying those words in slow motion too won’t ya? 🙂

As always, Thanks for reading!

Oh yeah, one last thing….this was my 50th post!