Debate of The Week #8

It must be Friday because it’s time to drop your socks and grab your tux again for Big Mike’s Debate of the Week!

Again, Sorry I haven’t been writing but I am catching up with the mixing life, honey-do lists and a job.  To recap the last Debate of the week I asked you what was better to do in order to get clean, a bath or shower?

I think the comments spoke for themselves.  The shower was unanimous!  But some of you did state that a bath is much better for a relaxing soak for the aches and pains that haunt our aging bodies.  I would also like to give an honorable mention to body sprays as a suggestion as well.  Puke!!!!  I remember the first time I ever witnessed a guy, who I played softball with, spray his entire body down with some concoction that was close to the smell of a mixture of fresh cut wood, an expired baby diaper and old woman’s perfume.  Worst thing ever!!!  Not sure why he just didn’t take a shower….

Anyway that was probably our most popular debate yet!  Thank you everyone for participating!

Now on to this weeks DEBATE OF THE WEEK!

I’ve dug deep into my bag of topics for this week.  And I think this will shake things up a bit for you all.

Most of you are experiencing some great weather around the world.  Tis the season to get out and enjoy the sun.  With great weather comes outside activities along with romping in the grass like little kids playing ring around the rosie.

This week I want to debate about sports.  Why not?  I’m back on the field myself and am in the mood to talk some sports.  But wait!  Don’t click that red box with the white X just yet, you sports haters.  You haven’t heard the sports yet…..

Let’s discuss Thumb Wrestling (TW) vs Rock Paper Scissors (RPS).

I think I need to first defend whether or not these are even sports.  I say yes and because of this reason alone…..They have governing bodies that oversee each sport.  Don’t believe me?  Google it!  Thumb wrestling has the Thumb Wrestling Federation and its president is Newt Knuckle.  Still don’t believe me?  I just finished reading all about it on a Wiki post on the internet.  If it’s on the internet, it must be true!

How about Rock Paper Scissors?  This is even more legit because there is a World Series of RPS.  But the main body that monitors leagues and tournaments is The World Rock Paper Scissors Society.  Don’t believe me again?  Google it!  I know how to do research and I did it!

When I was doing my “research” I saw so many ways I could go with my decision.  Each sport has it’s own attraction for me.  I grew up playing RPS on the school bus every morning on the way to school.  My buddy Dan and I got so into the game we created so many different weapons we had to write them down with the symbol that we created for the weapon.  I think we even created a gesture for a bomb that beat all but could only be used once a day.  I loved the bus ride in to school.  That is, until we made that turn into the unloading zone for school.  But for that 40 min before we reached that point I had no care in the world but what my buddy Dan was going to gesture next in our extended version of RPS.

I was never good at thumb wrestling when I was little.  Well the actual wrestling part that is, I’ll explain later.  I had small hands.  Which was only good for making things look larger than they really are… 🙂  I didn’t really have my growth spurt until my sophomore year in high school.  At that point I became a bit larger than everyone else.  Anyway, I did have a super power that did help stall the TW match until the school bell rang for change of class.  My super power was that I could dislocate my thumbs and cock them back so that they could not be reached.  I can also bend both of my thumbs backwards and touch my wrist……..Weird, I know!  I have autographed pictures of myself showing off my champion thumb.  If you want one, send me a SASE and I’ll ship one out to ya.

So now that you have a brief history of my association with these sports, and they are sports!  Hey!  If ESPN can advertise poker as a sport and broadcast it on their network I can sure as crap call these two time honored pass-times a sport on my blog!

It is now time for me to pick a sport and give you some of the pros and cons…

I am going with RPS!  At my age I am more into the non-contact sports.  That is, more of not holding another adults hand and playing thumbsies.  I also am more aware of the ability of contracting another’s cooties and getting swine flu, typhoid or whatever they may have lingering on their hands.

Probably the best thing about RPS in this day and age is that we can play the game in real time from across the world through video chat on a computer or our smart phones.  Yes, I know there are video games for both of these but there is nothing like the real thing.

With RPS the rules are pretty straight forward, my gesture either beats yours or not.  With TW there are so many technical aspects.  Did the person really do the 3 count legal before the start or did he jump the 3 count to get an unfair advantage?  I guess that is why there are sanctioned events with refs to figure that stuff out.

Oh and have you ever played TW with someone that has sharp nails?  It’s like playing with Freddie Kruger or Wolverine.  There has to be a rule against that…..I would think.

You aint got nothing on me Hugh Jackman!  If that is your real name.

And for you geeks out there, yes, I know Wolverine does not have a thingymabobber shooting out of his thumb.  It’s for effect and you just ruined it!

A side note: Did you all hear Hugh admit to doing a party pump before scenes like this pic so he could look all jacked for the camera?  Sorry Hugh, not all of us can naturally look like me.  But I guess you gotta do what ya gotta do.

So there you have it folks.  I picked Rock Paper Scissors over Thumb Wrestling.

How about you?

Which one do you prefer and why?

If you don’t care for either, do you have a similar game you enjoy? (and don’t say Jacks or Tiddly Winks that’s not similar)

And to round out your day, I give you some words of……..well, I guess wisdom:

Go to bed with an itchy bum, wake up with a stinky finger!

And finally I leave you with some thought provoking words:

When you say the word poop, your mouth makes the same shape as your butt hole does.  The same can be said for explosive diarrhea!

I bet you will try saying those words in slow motion too won’t ya? 🙂

As always, Thanks for reading!

Oh yeah, one last thing….this was my 50th post!

Big Mike Does Wen Hair?

 

No he doesn’t!  You have seen pictures of me.  I have no hair.  But hey, did you know that Alyssa Milano does Wen Hair?  I did.  The only reason I know that is because that infomercial is always on.  I don’t even really know what the product is.  But I guess the fact that Alyssa Milano uses it, or at least she says she uses it, that I should be too.  Why not?  It’s only $29.99 for a 6 oz. bottle of whatever it is.  I don’t see what could go wrong with using such an over priced product, do you?

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, that could happen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I bet it feels really good in your hair, right?

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I could be wrong.

 

So what’s my point?  Well, it’s just another bad marketing scheme.  I was recently asked by a fellow blogger, after reading my post Don’t Worry, It Comes With Instructions (Part 2), if I was going to be the new spokes person for Slim Jim.  I think that would be a great marketing scheme and you will know why once you read that post.  I can see the commercial now…it is worthy of Toby or a Telly award.

And now for the worst non-connected transition you’ll ever see ……..

I got another award!  Woo woo!  Yeah that’s right, I’m hot ish baby!  I received an endorsement from a fellow friend/blogger, Sharon @ A Bump To The Head .  She gave me the Genuine Blogger Award! (This is going right up on my wall of shinny before the fat kid in me gets his hands on it.  It looks like a chocolate bar…I can’t take the chance, he could eat it.)

Sharon is a pretty awesome laaydee.  She’s a Brit that lives in New Zealand.  How cool is that?  I really think you all should be reading her blog.  She says some crazy things like: wallop, bonzer, g’day, dinky di, and mate.  I’m sure she talked about wallabies at some point and I bet she carries a huge knife too!  Or was that Mick Dundee?  I could be making all this up too.  You won’t know unless you check her blog out.  Either way she is a cool blogger and I know you all will be reading her stuff soon.  I won’t do any spoilers on Sharon but she is a very inspirational laaydee.  What are you waiting for?  Go now!  Check her out!

So what is the Genuine Blogger Award?  I don’t know and I don’t think anyone else does either.  There are no rules attached to receiving and giving it.  That’s what makes it genuine.  It is a chance for someone to reach out to another blogger and say, “Hey, you done goodly.  I’m like’in that ish your postin.”  Hopefully you all feel that way about my writing.

I try to bring a little levity to the heaviness of everyday life.  I’m sure my humor is not for everyone but I bet I can make you laugh at some point.  If it hasn’t happened yet, I can feel it coming soon.  Just have a Kleenex ready in case milk comes shooting out your nose.  I have also been known to make women pee a little when they read my stuff.  I’m not too sure how to take that one though.

What do you have to look forward to if you stick around?

Well, there is still that naked picture of me at 3 yrs old laying  with my ass in the air on a large stuffed dog posing for the camera eating a piece of cheese that you haven’t seen yet.  And then there is the one of me around the same age sitting “in” the toilet eating a piece of pizza.  Yeah, there is a pattern here.  All my embarrassing pictures involves food and me being naked.  But at least I’m consistent.  And I’m pretty sure my one uncle has a picture (of the aftermath) of the time I pooped in the bath tub, with him in it……I don’t think anyone wants to see that pic though.

Now if that doesn’t bring you back, I guess I’ll just toss it out and add this current marketing campaign to the following list of bad marketing research/slogans/and campaigns.

The Horror of bad Marketing

The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?”  Mmmmm, Milk!

Coors put its slogan, “Turn It Loose,” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer From Diarrhea.” (had to use spell check) I bet if you drink too much that could happen.

Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick,” a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “Manure Stick.”  Mmmmm, I love the smell of manure in the morning!

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what’s inside, since many people can’t read, take a guess at what they thought was in the jar…..

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.  Hey, it’s really just white toothpaste, I promise!

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read “I Saw the Potato” (la papa).  Which could have worked in Idaho….

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Kekoukela”, meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokou kole”, translating into “happiness in the mouth.”  Which again is like biting a wax tadpole……

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” The company thought that the word “embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant!”  As long as it’s your first time… 🙂

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its “Fly In Leather” campaign literally, which meant “Fly Naked” (vuela en cuero) in Spanish!  I’m in!

The famous fried Chicken hub KFC’s slogan “finger-lickin good” when marketed was translated into China as“eat your fingers off.”  And how do we not know that it’s not really Soylent Green?  Then it would be true.

When Ford tried selling it’s car “Pinto” in Brazil it was a huge failure. The reason – the word “Pinto” is a slang for small penis in Brazil.  That’s no bueno!!

When Hunt – Wesson introduced their Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos, they forgot to note one thing, Gros Jos is the slang for “big breasts.”  I took 4 years of French in high school and never knew that, what a jip!

Until next time…….do your research, please!  And while you’re at it go visit Sharon @ A Bump To The Head.