Got Something On My Mind

This is not one of my normal funny ha ha type posts.  I can’t sleep right now cause I have this sadness weighing on me.  So you already know I had today off from work.  Which means I have my honey-do list a mile long that includes cutting the grass.

Ugh!  The lawn…..I just need to stop cutting the grass.  Nothing good ever happens to me when I cut the grass.  Many of you read the dog poop incident.  This time it wasn’t so funny.  The sad day began from the word go this morning.

It was about 7AM and my wife lets the dogs in the bed all nice and wet because its pouring outside.  She pokes at me a few times and said that the one dog had a mouse or mole in it’s mouth.  She was all upset that the dog killed another animal.  I felt kinda bad as well.  But I was asleep and didn’t fully comprehend the whole situation.

I guess the killing occurred in the back yard.  My two Jack Russell Terriers love to hunt for small critters.  It’s what they are bred to do.  She has already seen them romping around with already dead things in their mouth.  It was eventually going to happen that my wife was going to witness a kill.  So the whole day my one dog was prancing around all proud with his chest puffed out as if he was some bad ass.

Anyway, since I was so rudely woken, I decided to jump on the cutting of the grass since it was supposed to start raining again soon.  First things first though.  My wife said the boys didn’t do their “business” yet since she did her blood curdling scream to get them back inside after the hunt and kill.  So I decided to let them do their thing since I was going to be outside forever cutting the football field.

I opened the door and out pop the two killers to pee.  Then I spotted it!

There has been a nest of finches behind our DirecTv dish for about 4 months now.  And I guess the baby hatched and was ready to leave the nest cause there he was hopping in the tall grass with a target painted on his back.  Luckily the two blood thirsty hounds didn’t really spot it.  So I quickly got their attention by offering them some already dead foul, chicken jerky.  They ran inside like I just said Kim Kardashian’s dog just posted another X-rated YouTube video.

So I locked the horny bastards inside and proceed to check out the baby bird myself.  He was pretty darn cute if I may be so bold.  I talked to the little guy and coaxed him to fly away.  If not, my dogs would sure get him if not them then the neighbor’s cat would have a good snack.  He froze in the grass and his little chest was beating like crazy.  He chirped a few times as if he was calling for mommy and daddy.  I decided to leave it alone and cut the front yard.

I knew from the first row I cut that it was going to be a bad day.  One of the back wheels lost it’s locking nut and rolled off down the hill.  RUFKM!!!  Seriously!!  I spent the next 20 min looking for the damn nut in the high grass.  Of course it had to be black and hidden in the shade of the fence.  I must have stepped on that damn thing a few times before I saw it.

Tire fixed and sweating like a beast, I was about done with the front.  Homestretch!  Yup, here it comes……

I think I will have nightmares of this poor little bird.  I tried so hard to protect it from the killer dogs today.  I allowed it’s family to live on my satellite dish rent free for 4 months.  Why today of all the days did he decide to try and fly?  I will spare you the details of the carnage but yes I ran the birdy over with the lawnmower.  I never even saw it!  He had hopped a good distance from where I left him in the back yard.  In my wildest dreams I would never have guessed he would be on the other side of the fence.  I immediately got sick to my stomach.  I think I even cried a little for him.  It was more of a man cry though, more sniffle than tear.

I keep replaying it over and over in my head.  What could I have done?  He too was in the shadow of the fence in the tall grass.  I am still sick to my stomach about what happened.  I don’t like killing things.  I’m more of a live and let live kinda guy.  I will defend what I have to when I have to but will not engage in senseless stuff like mowing down little animals on purpose.

I’m not sure what to do about the situation.  I feel so bad about what I did.  I feel as if I owe the mommy and daddy bird reparation.  I think I might just build them a bird house but I would need the go ahead nod from the wife first.  I might just be setting up the birds for another heart breaking loss in the killing fields I call a yard.

Rest In Peace little birdy

Rest In Peace little mouse/mole


Debate Of The Week #3

It must be Friday because it’s time to drop your socks and grab your tux again for the Debate of the Week!

Last week I asked you which was better:  Bald head or Hair

Survey Says: (Ding!) Hair!  Not much was learned except that Chrystalyn @ The Future Of Hope likes enough hair on a head to pull.  You can take that however you want. 🙂

So on to the third Debate of the Week!  This week is going to be an easy one, kinda.  At least I hope it is.  I’m trying to get more of you to participate.

Your choices this week are Cats or Dogs.  It’s a fairly straight forward question, which is better?

To me this is a no contest.  Dogs win my vote and if you vote for cats I will just delete your comment.  Just kidding.  Really!  Just kidding.  Your vote will count as much as it would if this were a national election for president.  No hanging chads, I promise.  And I’m not easily bought.  So if you really want me to cheat the vote, you better come at me big or go home (I like whiskey and back scratches).

So here are the X’s and O’s of my decision.

Pro’s for the Dogs

  1. I have only had dogs
  2. I have never had cats
  3. I don’t ever plan on having cats
  4. Dogs potty outside
  5. Dogs are always glad to see you no  matter how long you have been gone
  6. They’re so damn cute!
  7. Dogs would fight for you (not in a Michael Vick way)
  8. You can teach a dog tricks (like get beer from a fridge)
  9. Dogs openly show affection (I get more kisses from my dogs than my wife)
  10. They’re not cats!

Con’s for Cats

  1. I have only had dogs
  2. I have never had cats
  3. I don’t ever plan on having cats
  4. Kitty litter stinks
  5. Cats don’t like humans, get over it!
  6. Cats will actually tell you to F off
  7. You can’t teach a cat ish!  And they will tell you to F off if you try
  8. Cats openly use narcotics (cat nip) and they won’t share
  9. Hairballs!!
  10. They rip the ish out of everything
  11. Do I seriously need to go on?  Look at that damn thing!!

Now, you might say I am just super biased towards dogs because I have them.  And you would be right.  But here is a short story to back my reasoning.

My sister-in-law has had cats.  They liked me…..from afar (while I was awake).  I remember I fell asleep in her living room and the cat was perched on the mantle above the fireplace watching me.  I was woken by a strange feeling.  The damn thing was licking my fingers then started to chew on my right index finger.  By the time I woke it was back up on the mantle.  I fell back asleep and minutes later I was woken again but with the feeling of someone rubbing wet sandpaper on my head.  The damn thing was licking my head!  And it was purring.  Man, I was creeped out.  WTH purrs (and sounds like the Predator) while licking a human head?  Needless to say I kept my eye on that thing the whole time I was there.  It had a decent mind game going with me.  Where is Arnold when you need him?

So there you have it!  Dogs are awesome.

Where do you stand on this issue?  What is better, Cats or Dogs?

What animals did you grow up with?  If you have a pet what species is it?

My parting words to you: You better cut the pizza in four pieces because you might not be hungry enough to eat six.

Thanks for reading.  Enjoy your weekend!