I think I have what is called A.D.O.S., Attention Deficit Oooh Shiny! I attribute it to my inability of wanting to focus on something for so long. But I am also definitely one of those people that are easily distracted by shiny objects. Awards are shiny and they distract me. Perfect!
Here are three (Yes, 3 of them!) The Versatile Blogger – The T.M.I Award – The Glitter E Yaynus Award.
Ay Caramba! I hope I can keep my focus through these. Hey, what does this button do?
Now to my acceptance speech:
(I enter the stage) Thank you, thank you! You are so gracious with your wondrous applause. That makes up for the strip search. First off, I would like to thank my nominator the wonderful, talented, deep hearted Chrystalyn @ The Future Of Hope. She writes my favorite blog. There isn’t a word you could use that would not describe how awesome her blog is (flawless use of a double negative, if I may say so myself). She writes from the heart and leaves it all out there for us to see. I have nothing but admiration for her ability to do such writing. Everyone needs to click on her site at least once a day, maybe twice.
I’m looking around the room and I see a lot of stars. There is Tom Cruise, Russell Crowe, Harrison Ford, Tupac, Snoop Dog, and think I see Kanye West in the audience tonight. Wait…whaa? Sit Down Kanye! Don’t you dare come up here!
I also want to take the time to recognize and thank all my stalkers out there. Also, I want to thank the Amazing Spider-man for being such a powerful force in my life. And to the People Under the Stairs, who taught me to take life by the balls. I couldn’t have done this without you. I would like to thank a lot more people but frankly I do it all for the sex.
Thank you World Wide Web and thank you, Chrystalyn @ The Future Of Hope. 🙂
The Rules of the “Versatile Blogger Award” are as follows:
- Nominate 15 fellow bloggers. (Ummm, nope. Too many)
- Inform the bloggers of their nomination. (not my fault if they don’t read my blog to find out)
- Share 7 random things about yourself. (sharing – read below)
- Thank the blogger who nominated you. (Thank You)
- Add the “Versatile Blogger Award” pic to your blog post. (check)
Seven Random Things About Me:
1) I don’t have a belly button. 2) I’m like the Terminator, I’m gonna keep coming after ya. 3) My very first concert I attended was Aerosmith. 4) I like ketchup. 5) After my dogs fart, my farts smell like theirs. 6) I sleep naked 7) I always misspell the word diarrhea (I had to use spell check for that)
Rules of the TMI Award:
- Thank the person who presented you with the award. (Thank You)
- Link back to the blogger who presented the award to you. (Chrystalyn @ The Future Of Hope)
- Share an awkward, embarrassing and intimate story in
100 words or lessmore. (read below, you better not laugh)
- Copy and paste the blog award on your blog. (check)
- Present the TMI Blog Award to 5 – 10 deserving blogs. (I’ll think about it)
- Let them know they have been chosen by leaving a comment at their blog. (Again, not my fault if they don’t read mine)
My Awkward, Embarrassing Moment:
Ok, so I know a lot of people will be reading this but I don’t care. This is the TMI award for heaven’s sake! I was in a fraternity when I first went to college back in ’94, Alpha Pi Lambda (Apple Pie). On the night we were accepted into the house as Brothers, there was a huge party. Big surprise, right? Well the new Brothers had to do naked beer slides. And we had to do them in front of the strippers (not sure of politically correct term for women who get naked for money) that were hired for the party. I wasn’t sure if they were laughing at me or the kid behind me. They were definitely pointing in my direction. I was kinda pissed that they chose to point at me while giggling. It turned out that on my third beer slide I ended up sliding so far I hit my leg on a doorway and split my leg open. I had no clue that the ladies of the night were pointing at my bloody leg and not my 100% All Beef Thermometer. Oh to be young again….
The Rules of the Glitter E Yaynus Award:
- Name 5 things that I do that would make people want to kill me. (read below)
- Name 5 things I would stick up my ass if I was forced to. (read below)
- Run across a freeway
blindfoldedNaked! (Hells yeah!)
- Pick a Prom Court. (I never went to prom)
Why People would want to kill me:
1) I’m awsome! And I don’t share the awesomesauce… 2)I’m not a telemarketer but I play one on TV. 3) I’ so good looking even guys hit on me. 4) I can sneeze with my eyes open. 5) Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
Things to stick up my ass:
Sorry but nothing goes in through the out door…… with one exception. I had a colonoscopy before. So besides long tubes with cameras, I draw the line!
Now on to awarding to my peeps:
I think that will be all for now…..
Again a huge thank you to Chrystalyn @ The Future Of Hope. Now go click on her blog!