I’d Like a McFlirty For Here, Please

So yes, by the title you can tell I went to McDonald’s.  I know, I know, I can here you all right now yelling at me….blah blah blah fat calories cholesterol and diabetes.  Let me explain.

Yesterday I had to bring my Mazda to the dealer for some scheduled maintenance.  And since I had the day off I decided to make an O’Dark Thirty appointment so I could get on with my day.  Turns out all I needed was an oil change.  Lucky for me I had a coupon for that.  Then I used my Super Intelligent Phone (some call them just smart but my phone feels slighted by that term) and checked in to the dealership using the application Foursquare and I received a loyalty check-in coupon for a $15 oil change.  Guess what I used on that visit?

Anyway, that is not what this post is really about.

The dealership is near a strip mall which has a McD’s, a Culver’s, a Panda Express and a Jack-in-the-Box.  I really only wanted coffee and knew McD’s had the $1 any size coffee in the mornings.  It was a bit of a walk in the brisk 15 degree temp with a nice slap in the face wind.  I would have ran but I hadn’t had my coffee yet!  You feel me?

As soon as I get in to the McD’s I knew it was just going to be one of those days.  There were 3 customers swarming and pacing by the counter with “that” look on their faces.  Geez!  They all took their turn yelling at the unlucky person to approach the counter.  I get it, you paid for something and you expect to get the right thing, but people come on……you shouldn’t be eating there anyway.  Take the hint!

I didn’t but I needed to kill a few hours thinking I was getting brakes and all kinds of things done on my Amazing Mazda.

Actual size of the coffee I needed that morning

Actual size of the coffee I needed that morning

I got my coffee (black-no cream or sugar) and searched out a nice quiet private little spot in the back of the restaurant.  I pulled out my Super Intelligent Phone and clicked in to the free Wi-Fi I was promised by the sticker on the front door of the store.  I started surfing the internet for the news and was greatly disappointed as usual.  This is not going to get me through a few hours.  Thankfully out of nowhere this old lady sits down behind me.  I think she was a bit crazy.  She was talking with herself as she read the paper.  She would say a passage then giggle and respond with some satirical comment.  I loved it!  I was like, hells yeah, blog material!

A few minutes later an old man sits down at a table by her.  I was like, this is going to get good…

She started talking with him.  And as a typical guy he had little to say back…..until another old guy shows up!  I know, I know, there was an actual commercial like this but this is real life stuff.  You can’t make this up!  I think when McD’s made the commercial they got the idea from this group right here.

The second old guy sat down and said hi to the lady and ignored the other guy.  She said hi back and told him about an article she just told the first guy.  The second guy had an opinion and shared.  Then the first guy, not to be out done, decided to enter the conversation.  Now he talks….

The second guy moves to a closer table to the lady.  More talking, and some awkward giggling and laughter by them all.  Was I back in high school?  The first guy now moves in closer sitting at the same table as the lady.  Not a few seconds later the second guy jumps to the seat beside him.

I pretty much lost track of what anyone was saying since my wife did a morale call right after all that happened.  I was watching what they were all doing.  There was a lot of arm touching and googly eyes.

The whole scenario was funny to watch cause that first guy was gonna play it all smooth until that second guy showed up.  I wonder if this is what it’s like in retirement homes.?.

I have also declared that section of the restaurant the Flirting section.  So if you see a bunch of old people sitting in a group at a McD’s near the restrooms, you know that is now the designated Flirting section.

So I guess life doesn’t end after 65….at least for these three it didn’t.

Thanks for the smiles old timers!

Debate Of The Week #4

It must be Friday because it’s time to drop your socks and grab your tux again for Big Mike’s Debate of the Week!

Last week I asked you which was better: Cats or Dogs?

And the results are in!

The Dogs have it!  All but one of your votes went to the doggies.  I think the take away from this is that dogs are awesome.  Not much else to say about the matter.  As for the one cat lover, we still love you at Big Mike’s World.  You just have love for the wrong pet in my opinion.  I guess it’s because I’m not into having my face scratched off in the middle of the night because a feisty feline is hopped up on cat nip and pissed off at me for getting the wrong kitty littler.  Good luck with that!  Let me know how that works out for ya…… 🙂

On to the new Debate Of The Week!

This week I will go a little harder on you.  I think it is safe to say that just about everyone that reads my blog has gone to a fast food joint at one point in their life.  Right?  I can remember the days when my grandparents would bring me to McDonald’s.  It was a big deal too.  Not everyone got to go with Grandma and Pap-Pap.  Well, at least as much as I did.  I always looked forward to that cheeseburger Happy Meal!  Once in a while I would mix it up and get the deep fried breaded chicken circles with BBQ dipping sauce.  I still don’t know what part of the chicken it comes from or even if it is chicken.  I’m not sure I want to know either.

But what never changed in my decision were the french fries!  Oh the golden crunchy goodness of fried potatoes cut into sticks.  I like them french fried potaters! (said in my best Slingblade impersonation).  Oh, the memories of the Happy Meal Daze.  The toys were so unsafe too weren’t they?  I can just imagine how much lead paint and plastic pieces I ingested from those things.  Geez! If you haven’t been following, I was a fat kid and didn’t know when and what to stop eating.  So the toys were fair game too.  They smelled like plastic french fries and occasionally had salt on them….

But what we are talking about here is my love of them there french fries.  Long ones, skinny ones, fat ones, short ones. They are all a little different from restaurant to restaurant.  I think McDonald’s rued the day I found out about Wendy’s or Burger King.  Oh boy, Wendy’s french fries.  They are so saltylicious!  I just made that up.  I did.  Just now.  Right then and there.  Remember that peeps, saltylicious!

Anyway; for me, great memories aside, I would have to say that Wendy’s and McDonald’s dropped down to the bottom in the french fry race.  And I want to say that they were much better before the fryer oil changes and sea salt versions.  They are OK but I want the old versions back.  The cut was perfect, rectangular like.  Perfect for catching the right amount of salt and great as a ketchup scraper.  Yes, that’s right, I said ketchup not catsup.  I’m from the East Coast and I’m a Heinz man.  There are no other products that compare.  But that is not the debate here, sorry.

I like Burger King’s fries but not as much as Wendy’s.  BK’s fries can be eaten without ketchup because of that flavor coating on there.  Not so great for me.  It just doesn’t meet the requirements of the perfect fry.  And have any of you been to a Steak ‘n Shake?  Great milk shakes but horrible little bits of potato they call french fries.

So what is my requirements of a perfect fry?  Must have the right amount of salt, crunch with a soft pillowy center.  It must be able to scrape a good amount of ketchup or scoop if using more than 1 and hold out long enough to make it to my pie hole.  It must also compliment the sammich I’m inhaling too.  Yes, I said sammich.  A sammich is much better than a sandwich.  Trust me, I’m right.  I wouldn’t lie to you.  If you don’t believe me, just look it up.

My Choice:

Drum roll please…….The best french fries are found at…….Chick-fil-A!  Oh, I know.  I threw you a curve ball there.  Waffle fries weren’t discussed.  But they are french fries.  And they are so good.  Look at them.  They dwarf the normal french fry.  It’s like a fry on roids!

I think you get where my vote is going…..yup, that’s right, Chick-fil-A!

How about you?

Who has the best french fries?  McDonald’s – Burger King – Wendy’s – Chick-fil-A – or self nominate a restaurant

How did you come to your conclusion?  What were the requirements for your best french fry?  Do you use any condiments with them?  (Ketchup, mayonnaise, milkshake, mustard, hot sauce, ranch dressing, etc)

Do you remember the rules for the Debate of the Week?  If not check them out Here.

Enjoy your weekend!