I Have a Personal Trainer Now

I was feeling so tired and sore I skipped working out today.  I actually came home and fell asleep a few minutes after I sat down on the couch.

I knew something had to be done about my laziness.  I know sometimes it’s good to just rest but I napped for 3 hours!

I needed that special motivation.  So I called my buddy back up to see if he could help out.  As usual he was spot on with his words of wisdom and motivation.  He is a bit pricy but I couldn’t pass up the chance to work with him.

Here’s how the conversation went:

mikes new trainer

I can’t wait to workout tomorrow!  I have a really good feeling about him…..

You Can’t Argue With Grumpy Cat

I was getting really motivated by a lot of you Bloggybloggers out there jumping back on that fitness horse.  I figured I haven’t challenged myself with anything lately so I started brainstorming what to do.  And boom!  An idea hits me.  Let’s do Insanity workouts.  I needed some additional motivation so I gave my buddy Grumpy Cat a call (since I don’t have any of your phone numbers).  Here is what he said:

Mike and Grumpy Cat

Amazing how he can motivate you.  I wanted to do another workout session right after we talked.

I have his number if any of you need a little Grumpy Cat motivation.

Things You Learn During Physical Therapy

As most of you know I am back in physical therapy.  This time it’s for my neck.  I’m really trying to avoid surgery on my herniated discs. Surgery is just a scary thing to think about.  I have a buddy that had a fusion of his C6 and C7 and it wasn’t as successful as originally thought.  He just recently went in for his second surgery to have the sides of his C7 cut out to free up the nerves as well as have the front of his C6 and C7 fused.

I don’t want that!!!!!!!!

I really hope therapy works but the pain is still there.  I know, I know, things take time to heal and I have only been at this for about 1 1/2 months now.  During my time at this clinic I have learned some great moves for strengthening my neck muscles and some really great stretches.

But that is not what I’m here to write about….

I want to share the things that you learn from talking with people during physical therapy.

First topic on the plate is Hollywood.

THEY LIED TO US!!!!!!

How do I know this?  My therapist told me so.  Not in those words but through my summation of what he told me about the human body.

I’m gonna call out only a few actors here because of their physical stature(they are small peps): Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris and Matt Damon.  But pretty much all of our favorite action heroes are fake!  Really!  No lie.  They all did a “move” that can be done but it is actually a low probability move that only a superhuman could accomplish…..the broken neck twist.  Regardless of the character they played and the supposed training that character had it is still pretty impossible to break someone’s neck by doing the neck twist.

Don’t believe me?  Ask a chiropractor.  Those dudes would all be in jail if it was that easy to break a neck.

The second topic on the plate is Alternative Exercises and Moves.

2013-02-25_09-52-41_929

It doesn’t look it but it does feel good to have a TENS unit hooked up to my neck with a very large and hot pack on.

During one of my electric stimulation sessions the proprietor of the therapy clinic came up to me after he overheard my discussion about liking alternative ways to exercise and trying new moves.  He pulls out his smart phone (his is only smart – mine is intelligent) and proceeds to show me this….

sledgebell-guyIt is called the SledgeBell.  This thing looks awesome.  Here is the LINK if you want to check it out yourself.  I’m still waiting on my permission from the “Ball and Chain” to get one for myself.  But it looks pretty awesome.  I may have to click the purchase button and just ask for forgiveness later.  The weather looks like it wants to change for the better and this is just another reason to go outside.

Well that is it for now.  I leave you with this to think about……….Are you as dedicated to your workouts like this pup is to playing fetch?

dog with sticks and ball

The Long Road Back

What’s been going on with Big Mike?  Well that is a loaded question….

Some of you may remember back towards the end of the summer, The Life Of Jamie caused me to break my ankle.  I still say she put that rock under my foot to make me fall. I still won the competition though……

Anyway, I tried to use my ankle the way it was after I gave it time to heal but didn’t like how it was coming a long.

I just completed physical therapy on my ankle, YAY!  It is not what it used to be but there was not much else the therapist could do to bring me along.  Outside of the normal movement therapy and electrical stimulus, she utilized this weird new thing I have never heard of, ASTYM.  Basically its a tool assisted tissue massage.  It was great in the ending weeks of my treatment.  I think it really helped.  My only drawback to having this done was that I have very sensitive feet.  So when the tools had to be dragged across the sole of my foot…..it wasn’t pretty.  But I’m still glad I had it done.  Currently I’m still waiting for the perfect day to road test my healed paw.

Of course after my therapy ended I got really sick again.  Stupid stomach virus, the Norovirus.  After a week of that nonsense and losing 15 lbs I am now in physical therapy for my neck.  Yup, it’s bothering me again.  I’m going down the list of things I can do for it besides surgery.  Unfortunately, surgery is the next and last thing on this list.  I, we, all know this therapy won’t cure my ailing neck but so far it has loosened my neck muscles as well as my pectorals which is causing a more relaxed sensation in the damaged area.  The stretches and movements I’m doing make it seem as if I’ve never used my neck properly to begin with.  I’m happy with the results so far……

After therapy today I went to the store and bought myself a juicer!  Mmmmmmmm goodness!  My first concoction was a pear, lime and lemon juice.  Wow, was it amazing!  Tomorrow I have a carrot, apple, parsley, spinach juice on tap.

Who’s a juicer out there?  Share some of your favorite ingredient combos with me please.  I am hooked on the juice.

 

Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

So here I am trying to get over being sick for the second time this winter…. 😦

I needed to cheer myself up so I wrote you all a top 10 list.

Enjoy!

Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

10. You refused to get a flu shot this year touting you never get sick

9. Doctors have no clue what’s wrong with you

8. You type in your symptoms to WebMD and the top diagnosis is that you are pregnant even though you clicked male as your sex

7. Between the ringing in your ears, the throbbing sound of your headache, your constant puking, and the nagging cough, you think you’re listening to a never-ending Justin Bieber song

5. Your extreme chills cause the thermostat to click on as you walk by

4. Your eyes and nose are so red you cause traffic confusion at intersections

3. You start speed watching seasons 1-3 of “House” on Netflix to figure out how he would have cured the flu

2. You smell like a baboon’s butt and no one complains about it

1. You just realized I skipped #6 and you don’t really care, in fact you’re glad I did

 

 

 

 

The Pursuit For Legs Of Steel

Oh my goodness!  It’s been 7-8 weeks now since I last ran.  And that was because I broke my ankle , not because I’m lazy.  Well, I am but that is not the reason for not running.

Yesterday I had one of my well deserved days off from work, the world, getting up and rushing around.  I did get up super early though.  It was only because I wanted to get a good jump on the day.  I had plans….big plans.  I wanted to run today!  But first I had to take my wife’s car to get the emissions done so I could get the registration renewed.  I was off to a good start.  I medicated and watered the dogs successfully and had a great breakfast.  I even remembered to take a shower!

Keys, wallet, and phone in hand and out the door I went.  I jump in the car and take off to the emissions center.  I knew exactly where it was (I told myself).  It was only 4 miles from my house.  30 minutes later I said to myself I have no idea where it’s at.  I felt so lost I had to pull over in a parking lot to look up the address.  That’s when I realized I drove a good 15 miles in the wrong direction and had to laugh at myself.  Idiot!

Car turned around and headed in the right direction I finally found the place.  Awesome sauce!  There was no line.  I pulled right up to the empty bay and the guy waved me in.  He scanned the bar code on my door and checked my VIN on my hood.  He just smiled and asked, “Did you get something in the mail saying you needed to come in?”

“Yup, sure did.  I have my registration renewal due by the end of the month.”

“Well sir.  You’re not due till December to have this vehicle checked.  Are you sure it was THIS vehicle that needed to be done?”

RUFKM!  I took the wrong car!  It was my wife’s car that needed checked not mine!

It was an honest mistake.  I never drive her car.  In fact, I don’t like driving her tank.  So I avoid even touching it.  So I drove away embarrassed and probably laughed at by the tech.  By the time I got home, now knowing where I am and directions, it was just way to hot to do a run till late at night.

What to do?  What to do?  I busted out an old leg routine I used to do back in Colorado when I would ride my bike a lot.  It had a lot of front squats, dead lifts, hack squats, leg curls and extensions.  I even threw in a bunch of KB swings to add some aerobic activity into this workout.

That routine took a lot out of me since I have been babying my left ankle for so long.  But it did hold up with the strain I just put on it.

Thursday morning:

I wasn’t goona be fooled again by this emissions place.  I was gonna look up to see if my wife’s car even needed the test before I got lost again and killed the nice cool morning air.  Ha! Their website has nothing showing that I need to get the emissions checked.  Well, there is 2 hours saved.

Medicated and water the dogs and had another great breakfast.  I checked my emails and perused the almighty interwebtube for the latest news I may have missed while asleep.  Nothing good, so enough time wasted….lets run!

If you follow my tumbler posts you can see that I was fairly excited but cautious about this mornings run.  I ended up only doing 1 mile.  I had no stamina, none!  I think it took me 20 minutes to run that stupid mile.  Best thing though is that my ankle took the pounding.  Until now…..as I’m writing this I feel it getting all twitchy and achy.  I expect that to happen for a while.  I think I will need to focus on my lower body for some time until I get back to a normal running time.

Well that is the beginning of my pursuit for legs of steel.

 

The Watermelon Experience

There has been its ups and downs with working in a grocery store.  Hopefully you have read my first instalment of The Commissary Diaries and enjoyed the emotional ride with me.  There are more great experiences to come.  Like this one.

This isn’t truly a Commissary Diaries entry because it’s not about what happens there.  But the adventure did start there.

It was that time again to do some grocery shopping.  But I had to endure a long arduous shift behind the register before I got to partake in the goodies I saw swipe through my lane.

4PM finally hit and there was still a line beyond what I could see.  Oh well, sucks to be them, I’m done.  I did however offer to stay and help get the line down but we are no longer allowed to work non scheduled hours.  Whatever!  I offered and hopefully karma will remember.

I sign out and make  a mad dash to get a hand basket to grab a few items to get me through the next days to come.  First stop is the produce aisle.  Oh so many delicious items waiting for me.  I grab my staple, apples.  I decided to try out the Honey Krisp type this time.  Not much to write home on about those…. 😦  but an apple is an apple.  I grabbed an overflowing bag of my new favorite cherry, the Rainier variety.  WOW WOW WOW!  Two thumbs up and I’ll give it two big toes up as well.

I walk around and pick at the other fresh looking fruits.  I grabbed some veggies as well, carrots – onions – peppers – yams – etc.  I walk off to grab some chicken, whole wheat english muffins and eggs.  I had this strange feeling I forgot something.  So I walked back to the produce section and there it was…….a fresh cut half watermelon.  How did I miss this?  It was only $1 too!  At the commissary a whole one goes for $6.  Who cares if it’s on its last leg.  I’m gonna eat the crap out of it tonight!

I have been working a lot the past few weeks and feel like I have been neglecting my pups.  I decided to spend some extra time with them by playing ball and giving extra tummy rubs.  Two hours later we woke up from a nap and were all hungry.  How do I know they were hungry?  They are always hungry…

I needed to do a little cardio since I skipped any kind of workout today.  Like I said before, I have been really tired from being on my feet a lot at work.  Anyway, I jump on my bike that’s sitting on the trainer in the living room and watched the first half of the Hall of Fame Game on the NFL Network.  It’s not like an outdoor ride but I can sure max out my effort and get hungry doing it.

Shower, dressed, and now searching for some food.  I somehow managed to pull Duh moment and realized I put the chicken I just bought in the freezer when I got home.  So what to do for dinner?  Chicken-sicles?  Fast food?  Ugh!

I decided to pull out all of the fruit I bought and just have a healthy big snack of fruit.  And why not end the day by sharing the greatness of it with my little buddies.  🙂

Who doesn’t like watermelon?  They even ate the rind.

Sit back and share a little something good with your family.  You won’t regret it!