Things You Learn During Physical Therapy

As most of you know I am back in physical therapy.  This time it’s for my neck.  I’m really trying to avoid surgery on my herniated discs. Surgery is just a scary thing to think about.  I have a buddy that had a fusion of his C6 and C7 and it wasn’t as successful as originally thought.  He just recently went in for his second surgery to have the sides of his C7 cut out to free up the nerves as well as have the front of his C6 and C7 fused.

I don’t want that!!!!!!!!

I really hope therapy works but the pain is still there.  I know, I know, things take time to heal and I have only been at this for about 1 1/2 months now.  During my time at this clinic I have learned some great moves for strengthening my neck muscles and some really great stretches.

But that is not what I’m here to write about….

I want to share the things that you learn from talking with people during physical therapy.

First topic on the plate is Hollywood.


How do I know this?  My therapist told me so.  Not in those words but through my summation of what he told me about the human body.

I’m gonna call out only a few actors here because of their physical stature(they are small peps): Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris and Matt Damon.  But pretty much all of our favorite action heroes are fake!  Really!  No lie.  They all did a “move” that can be done but it is actually a low probability move that only a superhuman could accomplish…..the broken neck twist.  Regardless of the character they played and the supposed training that character had it is still pretty impossible to break someone’s neck by doing the neck twist.

Don’t believe me?  Ask a chiropractor.  Those dudes would all be in jail if it was that easy to break a neck.

The second topic on the plate is Alternative Exercises and Moves.


It doesn’t look it but it does feel good to have a TENS unit hooked up to my neck with a very large and hot pack on.

During one of my electric stimulation sessions the proprietor of the therapy clinic came up to me after he overheard my discussion about liking alternative ways to exercise and trying new moves.  He pulls out his smart phone (his is only smart – mine is intelligent) and proceeds to show me this….

sledgebell-guyIt is called the SledgeBell.  This thing looks awesome.  Here is the LINK if you want to check it out yourself.  I’m still waiting on my permission from the “Ball and Chain” to get one for myself.  But it looks pretty awesome.  I may have to click the purchase button and just ask for forgiveness later.  The weather looks like it wants to change for the better and this is just another reason to go outside.

Well that is it for now.  I leave you with this to think about……….Are you as dedicated to your workouts like this pup is to playing fetch?

dog with sticks and ball


The Dilemma Update

Many of you have read my post The First Dilemm Of The New Year and I thank you for that.  Some have asked for the outcome of what my decision was.  And for that matter, what my decision was.

So to recap briefly:

I saw someone at work steal.  As plain as I can put it.  Then I saw another person become a part of the stealing.

I have a strong ethical background in business and life.  I cannot let something like that go.  I don’t care if it’s my business or someone else’s.  I’m not a goodie two shoes but I was raised with right and wrong.  Stealing = wrong!  It doesn’t matter if it’s 5 cents, a pack of gum, or a car…..taking something that is not your property is not right.

So here I am with all of what I just witnessed weighing on my mind.  I did tell my supervisor the next day I was at work.  She was a bit taken back but not fully surprised that it happened.  Nothing could be done without proof though.  As the days passed I found out that others knew of this person stealing.  It has been going on for years!  No one ever said anything.  This had to stop.  I told the manager of my department what I saw.  I was told to get proof that this was happening.  Lucky for me my intelligent phone has a camera.  So the next few times I saw the items being staged for take-away I took pictures of them.  I even followed the person to see if they paid for them.  Sometimes the answer was no.  And other things were taken during the journey to the break room.

I along with a few other employees presented this information to our manager…… fell on deaf eyes and blind ears.

I couldn’t believe this and neither could the other employees.  Here we decided to stick up for this manager and he didn’t seem to care.

I still had the right/wrong thing pinging in my head.  So we took this to the Store Director (above the store manager).  If anyone would care, she would…..right?


Mind Blown………Frustration continues.

The End

The First Dilemma Of The New Year

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone!

The year 2012 ended with me being perplexed.  Every department in the commissary had to do a monthly inventory on top of lowering everyone’s work hours.  In my eyes this led to a major breakdown in function, at least in the produce department.  But that wasn’t the major issue that hit me the last day of 2012.  Without naming names or getting too close to divulging too much information, I will tell you my story.

The work day began approximately 15 minutes to 3PM (I do a lot of free work).  I walked through the produce back door and the boss was ecstatic to see me.  Lets just say I saw the reason and the huge mess in front of me.  The mess was not the perplexing issue nor was the fact that there was only one employee there for the past 2 hours prior to me showing up.

One of the problems walks in 10 minutes late like usual, if not later on other days.  It just so happens it is a love interest of the person that has been the only one in the department most of the day by themself. 

The rest of the crew showed up on time and the boss gave us all our “missions” on the fly.  Needless to say I had the main mission to save his butt.  Our one receiver in the morning rarely does their job to any extent.  And usually leaves the bulk of the work for those of us that come in later in the day.  Fair, unfair, does it really matter?  This person is a well entrenched government employee and it would take an act of God to get rid of him/her.  My mission if I chose to accept it or not was to get things squared a way in our 3 back rooms and ready for the boss’s boss to help with our inventory that night.  This meant; it better look like it has always been well-kept and organized.  If the big boss only knew…..

So on to my real issue……the love birds.

I have found myself tested with ethics and morals in most of my past jobs but this issue seems to be a tough one.  It actually involves two people.  The other past issues only involved one person and it was usually someone I didn’t care what happened to based on the situation I was put into.  This one is a different kind of issue.

The set up…

Our first back room is a “cooler” (kept at a temp range of 45-55 degrees).  This room has a prep table, 3 tub sink, ice machines, scales and at price label maker along with storage area for produce that can be kept safe at these temps.  Our second back room is a refrigerator (a bit more nippy in there than the cooler), about 90% of our stock goes in there and of course that is where I have to do the brunt of my work. 

So by 4PM I pretty much did the work of what 3 other people couldn’t accomplish in their 8 hour shifts.  So I took a short water break in the cooler to drink some water (along with warm up a bit) and overview the mess in that room.  I was behind a pallet of bananas looking at how I was going to shove 40 lbs of crap in a space that will hold 5 on this shelf, then I start hearing someone setting up our price labeler.   Huh, this is odd……we didn’t have anything on our prep table to be marked down.  And no one ever does their own work, they always leave it for someone else to do. 

I peer around the bananas and see one of our own printing a label but nothing around to price, odd…..

Then this person walked into the refrigerator and came out 2 minutes later without the label or anything else, odd….

I thought nothing more of it since I still had some back-breaking lifting to do.  Back to throwing 40 lb boxes of bananas and 50 lb bags of potatoes around.

As other employees come back to refill their carts of goodies to put on the produce line I talk and joke with each person.  Then one comes back out to tell me a secret.  “Mike come here, I want to show you something….”  I was waiting to be hit over the head with some styrofoam once I walked through the door or something but no.  “Mike, look on that shelf.  What do you see?”

There was a ready-made salad (that we sell a ton of) with one of our price labels on it, hmm odd…….

We don’t do that unless we are trying to get rid of it 1 to 2 days prior to expiration date.  I didn’t even have to touch it to know it was nowhere near expiring since we have been keeping inventory down for our up coming count.  That and it would automatically be put on an ice table on the sales floor.

I’m still not thinking clearly like I am now about anything that I just put together.  So don’t yell at me for not doing something just yet.

Yes, you are right…it does add up to bad.  But still no one did anything wrong, yet.  Nothing was stolen, nothing was paid for, etc, etc.  Plus; here’s the kicker, we are not even sure what do about it anyway.

So, long long story short.  I finally took a break after everyone else had theirs, I go to the break room.  I sit down and lay my head down.  In walks the love birds.  WTH!!!!!  They have already had their breaks and over their allotted time might I add.  I know this because a fellow employee likes to keep track of the time people spend on breaks.  This is the same person that noticed the marked down salad.  Which made another appearance in the break room!!!!  In the hands of not the one that marked it down but the love interest, hmmmm interesting.

So here is where I’m at.  I saw something without actually seeing something.  I saw something else but couldn’t prove it was the thing I saw to begin with.  And now because I didn’t say anything then nothing can be done if anything could have ever been done.

I know I can’t go by what someone else says but according to this person that originally tipped me off about this said this happens almost every night.  To give you an idea this salad sells for around $5.  It was marked down to $1.25.

My boss is already in hot water and losing all this extra money to these individuals doing whatever it is they are doing (call it what you will) I want to protect him and the store. 

What do I do? Should I still say something to the boss?  And how do I say it?

Let me add this….I know saying something to these two individuals will do no good.  It just won’t.

Fitness, Reality and Random Crap

So it has been a while since I have written.  I know…you miss me!  But you can follow me on Twitter or on Facebook on either my fan page or my personal page.  I’m a nice guy, lets be friends 🙂

A lot has been going on since I wrote my last post Debate of The Week #7.  It has been almost 2 weeks for heaven’s sake!

Today is my first day off for the week.  It is kind of like a double edge sword.  I still can’t believe I get to say I have a day off but then my days off are fairly random and usually in the middle of the week, which sucks.  But it is nice to be able to say that my ogre of a boss finally gave me a day off.  Not that my boss is an ogre nor my boss for that matter, she is my supervisor, which is not a boss but a person that supervises my work.  I still don’t know who the boss is nor does it matter.  I’m not that important cog in the commissary process, so I will probably never need to know.  I am just the face of the store for the customers as they pay for their items and finalize their shopping experience.  So I’m not that important…..

Work is fun and interesting but can be a back breaker at times.  It is nice to be noticed by my supervisor for my exemplary work ethic by moving me to the busiest registers during the day to keep the cattle moving through with a smile.  The bad thing about it is that the other employees resent me a little because I always have a smile and seem to enjoy the job.  Just yesterday I was asked by, lets call him “The Grumpy Old Man,” if my niceness and cheery attitude toward customers was real or an act.  It is obvious he can’t tell the difference since he hasn’t had a real feeling in years and wouldn’t know how to show it.  He is the most gruff person I have ever met.  I can barely tell if he is asking questions or making statements to customers.  Everything he says is in the same tone and with no feeling.  I think I made him smile yesterday though.  It was either that or he had gas.

So yesterday I got to sleep in a little.  Which was nice.  8AM seems like I’m sleeping till noon now.  It’s crazy!  I had 2 hours before I had to leave for work so I read a few of my favorite WordPressers and made a few comments.

One of them being, Stephanie @ My glorified Journal. She has been pretty motivating in her posts.  If you haven’t been following her you should be.  Let me fill you in if you haven’t.  She is taking on two challenges in her life right now.  Her one goal is to compete in a body building/fitness posing competition.  She is rapidly closing in on that day and well on her way to probably becoming a fitness model.  Her second goal is to become the next female face of Under Armour.  She entered into that competition a few weeks ago and asks her followers for some ideas to complete the UA tasks.  Anyway I was pretty motivated by all she is doing I decided to try and do a little workout myself before work.  By the time I got to workout I felt I only had time to pump out a few hundred pushups/shower/shave and dress for work.

It all turned for the worse in a flash of a second after I left for work.

A little back-fill: I have this thing about being super early for things.  I think it is a nervous mental thing I have but I just need to be early for everything I do or my stomach gets all knotted up and I get sick.  Weird, I know!

So I had a few extra minutes before I left for work but wanted to get there early anyway.  Hey, you never know what traffic could be like (I only live 2 miles away from the base).  Anyway, I am sitting at the last red light before being on the main drag for the base main gate.  There is me on my side of the light and two cars in the oncoming light, one was in the turning lane but didn’t have their turn signal on.  that should have been my first clue of this person being a dumbass.

The light turns green and I take off……and so does everyone else!!!!!  The dumbass, in the oncoming turning lane, tries to make a left hand turn into me, head on!  WTF!!!!  Lucky for me my Mazda 3 and I are one with reflexes and responsiveness in our evasive maneuvers.  The dumbass just misses the front end of my car with not as much as a tap of the brake by them.  I saw it was some old lady realizing her mistake by grasping her mouth with one hand and punching the gas to make sure her car is going much faster than mine in order to pulverize me, if she hit me.  Probably so she can go on in her own miserable life and leave me rotting in the intersection.

Really?  I mean, REALLY?  She was probably texting……

So out of this whole experience I learned that I should have taken 5 more minutes to do some situps or something and not worried about being so early for work that I make barely any money at.

But as I was walking into the building I witnessed something pretty profound.  All along the side of the building there are flowers and roses and other smelly pollen makers blooming.  This lady just stops on the side walk and bends over to smell a few of the different flowers.  My whole attitude changed from heart pounding rage to realizing that what could have happened to me, didn’t happen, and I should maybe slow down a bit and smell the roses for myself.  So the rest of the day I tried my hardest to be the nicest person anyone would meet that day.  I also picked up some Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream for my wife to show I was thinking of her.

Everything is better after ice cream!

Getting The Axe

That was the summation of my day.  Well, at least that is what happened to me when I was cutting the grass today.  And no, it didn’t come shooting out from the lawnmower at me.  Let me back up a bit.

So you all know I had leg surgery a few weeks ago which has hindered my mobility some.  Which means I can’t do all the “Manly” chores around the house like  jackhammer stuff, rip the lug nuts off a car with my bare hands, building animal snares out of band aids and used q-tips, chopping ish down, rodeo ride sharks, honing my blacksmithing skills, cutting the grass, and picking up dog poop.

My wife decided to pick up the slack around the house and do the latter this week.  I thought that was nice of her.  But I didn’t know what she did with it.  I usually just put it in a plastic bag and throw it in the big garbage can in the garage.  How do I know she didn’t?  Yesterday I was back to cutting ish down.  Well, pruning the shrubs and cutting back some dead ornamental grass that is a fire hazard.  I put all that in the big garbage can which was empty prior to my mess.

I did a pretty good job, don’t you think?

So back to the dog poop…

When I cut the grass I have a system.  I like to edge first so when I cut the grass I mow over the long blades from the edging.  It just looks cleaner to me.  There is no messy dead decaying grass on my freshly cut lawn.  This time I decided to cut the front yard and not edge first.  I wanted to wait until I do the back fenced in yard to edge since it was going to take some time to do (it’s as big as a freakin football field back there).  It takes about an hour to cut on a good day.  It was getting kinda tall.

So the front is cut and pretty….I take a quick break to get some water since it’s 70ish out but felt like an inferno with the humidity.  I get out my industrial edger and get whacking!  All you pervs out there I mean weed whacking…

The front is complete and the outside of the football field is complete.  Now to do the inside of the fence and around the house.  No problem……until I hit the home stretch.  10 feet left to trim and I’m done!!  Yes!  I pick up the pace just a bit cause my back is killing me from holding this 40lb trimmer.

5 feet left and I’m almost to the fence gate.  Press the trigger for some more gas to get through the last few feet faster.

Thwap! Thunk! SSSrrrrmm! THWap THwap Thwap thwap wap ap p…… and DOG POOP goes flying everywhere!

I found the bag of dog poop my wife didn’t throw away!  Thanks hun….

I never knew poop could fly like that.  It stunk a lot worse than it normally does too.  Most of it stuck to my legs and shoes.  I think some bounced off my sunglasses and hat.

Now I think most people would have stopped what they were doing and cleaned up.  Not me, I was on a mission.  I was already overheating, sweaty, PO’ed, and now ished on!  F it!  I wasn’t about to go change to have to change again once I was done.  The worst part was I had my surgical stocking on my leg and there were chunks of crap smeared on it.  I have to wear that thing for another week.  Don’t worry, I can wash it.  I’m not that disgusting.

I didn’t even say anything to my wife when she got home.  I know that somehow it will be my fault anyway.  I was walking backward so the weed whacker would work better.  I never saw it coming.  I guess she had it sitting right at the edge of the gate and the whacker sucked it in from the other side of the fence.  Argh!  And I had to unwind the destroyed bag from the spinner too.

So after another hour of cutting the backyard I needed to disinfect myself.

I go inside the house and my dogs look at me like, “What’s that smell?  It’s a little familiar.”  I immediately start stripping and head upstairs for a nice cold shower.  Calgon take me away!

Well it was more like Axe do your stuff.  I am not one of those fruity guys that use all sorts of gunk on their body nor do I go around trying to smell like mint bubble gum, cucumbers or flowers.  I needed to buy some soap a while back and for some reason I decided to try out some Axe.

Have you ever seen those commercials for their stuff?  It’s pretty extreme.  It must be good if they are spending that much money on producing commercials like that, right?  Kind of reminds me of the GoDaddy commercials with Danica (I don’t like being labeled sexy even though I do sexy swimsuit photo shoots) Patrick and Jillian (I could rip your body in half with my buns of steel) Michaels.  All of which is stupid and have nothing to do with the products the commercials are trying to sell.

Oh wow!  That shower was awesome.  Remember how I said I don’t like to smell like potpourri or fruit, well, this is the closest I will ever get (Thai Massage).  This stuff is great!  I don’t know if it actually cleans or disinfects but at least it got the poop off of me.

It felt like a little Taiwanese woman was walking all over my body with her tiny feet stepping on all the right pressure points.  Well done Axe marketers!  Now if you can follow through with all those women that are supposed to show up after someone uses your products, like your commercials and advertising show, you’ve hit a home run!

Well, it’s time for bed.  I’m pooped!

The Best Inventions No-One’s Invented Yet

I am dedicating this post to all of you in the world that have been overlooked by society too long!  The Lefties!  You have been scorned long enough.  There are not even any left handed superheros for you to look up to.  This is a disgrace!

Did you know that one of the coolest animals on the endangered species list is left handed?  Yup, the polar bear.  It’s natures way of slowly getting rid of the left handers.  Another sad statistic for you.  10% of all car thieves are left handed.  That means there is a 10% chance that your car was stolen by a polar bear.  You are so under represented.

I just want to point out some of societies blunders that are holding you back from your potential.

The cup

Look at these things!  It’s so blatant that there is no love for the left hander.  The coffee cups only have the handles on the right side.  How hard would it be to put another handle on there?  Seriously?  It would only be a little bit more clay.  And there are 3 of them in this picture.  It’s like getting flipped off 3 times in a row.  And those Solo cups.  Geez!  How about a slap in the face too with the right hand?  They didn’t even bother putting a handle on there.  It’s like the company is saying, “We know the left hander exists but we don’t care.”  How is a left hander supposed to know how to pick this cup up?  Come on!

Societal Habits in general

Imagine the center of your back is itching. Which hand do you scratch it with?

– That’s right, your right hand!

Interlock your fingers. Which thumb is uppermost?

– Again, it’s your right!

Imagine you are applauding. Start clapping your hands. Which hand is uppermost?

– Are you starting to see a pattern?

Wink at an imaginary friend straight in front of you. Which eye does the winking?

– The right!

Put your hands behind your back, one holding the other. Which hand is doing the holding?

– Do I have to say it?

Someone in front of you is shouting but you cannot hear the words. Cup your ear to hear better. Which ear do you cup?

– What’s that sonny?  I can’t hear ya…is that your right hand?

Count to three on your fingers, using the forefinger of the other hand. Which forefinger do you use?

– Ah 1…….2…. right hand.

Tilt your head over on to one shoulder. Which shoulder does it touch?

– I can’t see.  Ya tilting to the right, right?

Fixate on a small distant object with your eyes and point directly at it with your forefinger. Now close one eye. Now change eyes. Which eye was open when the fingertip remained in line with the small object? (When the other eye, the non-dominant one, is open and the dominant eye is closed, the finger will appear to move to one side of the object.)

– That’s just too hard.  You need a degree for that one.  Don’t even try it lefties…..


We, meaning society, have gone after the core of you since you were young.  Have you seen a crayon lately?  Try reading one from your left hand.  You can’t!  Those bastards at Crayola only write the color name in one direction.  Maybe that is why you never stayed in the lines.  You were always trying to read the color name upside down while coloring.  Sorry for all those years of special classes thinking you were behind in development.  It just turns out you just were being diligent in your color selection.  Oops!


Now this goes way before my time.  So don’t expect any reparations from me on this one.  It just isn’t happening.

Language Word for Left Handed Meaning
Greek Skaios awkward
Italian Mancino crooked, maimed
spanish Zurdo reverse
French Gauche awkward, clumsy
Dutch Linkshandig To have two left hands
German Links, Kinkisch awkward
Norwegian Kjevhendt crooked-handed
Australia Mollie Dooker something to do with having fists like a girl
Latin Sinister on the left-hand side

I can’t make this stuff up.  This is real, folks.  Your own language makes fun of you.

Fighting the good fight

So this is me dedicating this article to the fight against society for you, left handers.  I will head to my drawing board to come up with some solutions to your problems.  I’m not left handed myself but I feel your pain (not really, I’m normal unlike you).  So I pledge my valuable time to fight for the cause.  Power to the Lefties! (said in a Braveheart manner with right fist raised in the air, I mean LEFT fist, left, I meant left, really)

Seafood, Landfood & Airfood

Well, its that time of year where our TV is filled with those annoying commercials about fish.  Geez!  I despise this time of year.  Why?  For one, I can’t eat fish.  I’m allergic.  If I as much as touch a slimy creature from the deep, I would die!  Which makes 1/5 of my life ironic because I have lived in Alaska for 3 years, California for 2, and Japan for 3.  All were supposed to have some of the best fish and fish like items in the world.  But Mike those fish and fish like items are called seafood.  I know, I know.  But that is the second reason I don’t like this time of year.  Why is it called “Seafood?”  Did someone look into a body of water and say, “I hereby claim anything that comes from water is now dubbed Seafood!”  ……..and the crowd cheered!  Seriously, WTH?

Whatever!  I don’t see anything else being bundled into one general name on this planet.  We might as well call the cows, pigs, chicken, sheep, dog and cat Landfood.  Why not?  They probably won’t mind.  Or know.  I don’t see anyone going up to ole Bessy and whisper in her ear to tell her she is called Landfood and not just a cow anymore.  WTH is Bessy able to do about it?  Get a group of fellow cows from the pasture and protest?  I know they can organize and protest about eating of their own kind and throw another animal under the bus, like the chicken.  Chic-fil-A says so.  I saw it on TV.  It must be true.

Eh, screw it!  I hereby claim from this day on, all 4 legged animals that humans consume will be dubbed Landfood!  ……and the crowd cheered!

OK, well I can’t just turn my back on our foul friends then can I?  So look out ducks, look out pheasant and all you other finger licking good feathery friends.  I have now dubbed you Airfood!  So it is written, so it shall be done!  …….and the crowd cheered!  I kind of fell in love with the name for the category called Airfood.  It sounds light and healthy.  You know; no cholesterol, low cal and good for ya.  Almost along the lines of Angel food cake.  Just sounds so un-sinfull.  It must be good.

Alright, so I have that out of the way.  Lets talk a little more about individual names of these animals.  I think I should just pick on the fish cause they suck.  They still tick me off.  Damn things want to kill me.

So, there is a catfish.  WTH is that?  Why would two such animals ever be combined by name?  Cats hate water and fish just don’t know it but cats eat fish.  What a stupid name.  Did someone say, “Hey look at that fish’s claws!”  Oh but wait Mike, they have whiskers.  Oooo la de da!  I have a hairy body, does that make me a MonkeyHuman?  No!  It makes me look like Robin Williams but it doesn’t change my biological classification or name.

Other stupid names for fish:

Monk fish- Does it brew beer? Probably not.

Aholehole- This poor thing must have Turrets Syndrome.

Clown fish- Really?  Where is the big red nose?

The Crappie- Must be found in brown water.

Ghost fish- Do they really exist?

And lastly, maybe the handfish should meet up with the blowfish and they could live happily ever after.  Just sayin……

So I picked on the poor little fishies.  Boo Hoo!  Sorry Charley….  I do have a favorite of the underworld, the whale shark.  Have you seen this mo fo?  This thing is so cool it was given the name of the toughest beast in the water plus it is so large it was given the name for the largest mammal in the water.  Damn, it’s cool!  He is the dude on the block you just don’t mess with.  He doesn’t even need a posse to roll with him.

There is another perfectly named fish, the killer whale.  OK, its a mammal but look at this boss!  He just looks tough.  Those big patches that look like eyes and that snarly beak.  It’s as if he wants to fight.  He even carries a knife on his back just to warn you to STFA!  If you get in his way, he’ll cut you.  Another thing about him, he eats fat filled seals.  How cool is that.  He doesn’t even worry about heart disease or cholesterol.  I would say he is the Michael Myers or Jason of the sea.

Class dismissed!  Thank you for stopping by……