Poor Dispicable Little Me

So much going on!  So little time to explain….

For those of you following this little soap opera, you know I have a new job now.  I think I have finally settled in the position now.  I am still learing what all of my responsibilities are because there seem to be new ones that pop up every week.  But that is OK….I’m finally in a cool position doing marketing.  Which brings me to some new hurdles in life.

First hurdle is sitting in a car for a two-hour round trip to work everyday.  Second hurdle, sitting most of the day for my 8-9 hour work day.  Third hurdle, looking at a computer screen for most of it.

So now that I am no longer physical in my job, I have to figure out a way to keep the body looking good.  Food has become more important than ever for me cause with my “Oooo Shinny” disease, hunger can play games with my attention span.

Problems solved????

The drive to work can be a very stressful time.  Most of my commute is spent in a “bamboo splinter shoved up my finger nail” type pain traffic.  Thankfully my wife works in the same vicinity as I do so we commute together, which makes the drive that much better (can you feel the sarcasm?).  She loves a traffic jam as much as a cat loves a bath.  Most of her time is spent in the passenger seat with her head down playing games on her phone while I smile stupidly at all the A-hole Maryland drivers cutting me off, zigzagging all around me, and slamming into each other all over the road and causing even more havoc.  My problem was solved once I took my Prozac!

So sitting most of the day has played one heck of a shake the puzzle box game on my spine.  I have learned that we (those of us that sit in office type chairs) are destroying our bodies each and every day we use those blasted devices that hold our asses off the ground.  My problem was solved two weeks ago when I brought in my exercise ball to sit on instead of using my chair.  Hey, I’m blasting my core and working at the same time!  Plus the majority of us in our office are doing a version of the biggest loser.  So I now have a little added incentive to keep up an active lifestyle.

Those of you that have read me for a while do know I used to be a happy fat kid with a piece of chocolate cake in one hand and a stick of butter in the other.  Now I have done a whole life changing event by going Paleo.  The months I have been learning, experimenting, and living Paleo I have never felt better.

The day I said no more to grains, highly refined foods, anything in boxes, most things in cans, and all fast food I made a life decision that probably has added years to my life.  I have taken some sage advice from some of the Paleo food bloggers that are extreme workout peeps and full-time professionals on meal prep.  I cook huge batches of meals on Sundays so I don’t have to make excuses that there is nothing to take for lunch or there is nothing for dinner.  I don’t want to fall into the eating out all week routine that I once was in.

So yeah, that’s about where I’m at right now.  I work with a bunch of great people and enjoy what I do.

Oh, I almost forgot the funny part of my post!  So I went on a run the other day with two of the girls that are doing the biggest loser at work.  It was cold so I was wearing my black thermal tights and my black UA winter running jacket.  The one girl said I had skinny legs for a guy then the other said with my bald head and what I was wearing I looked like Gru from Dispicable Me.

Yeah, it’s true, I looked like Gru that day.

OK, so you can stop laughing at me now….


I Need A Name!

It’s “Tis The Season” again and all kinds of goodies are out in the stores.  I gave in to the hype and picked up one of the hottest little gadgets of the past few years.

No…..it’s not an iPhone!  No……it’s not a tablet, Kindle or other Made in China piece of garbage.

It’s an Elf On The Shelf!

Elf on the shelf

I wanted to adopt a boy elf but as most of you know you don’t always get what you want when it comes to kids!  So I got a girl elf.  Currently she is holding my TV remote control hostage until she gets named.


I Need Your Help naming her!!!!!

She is already a handful.  Poor Kenai has been a target of her mischief too.

It's behind me isn't it?

It’s behind me isn’t it?

Please help me get my household back in order and keep “What’s Her Name” in some kind of control.  At least I will be able to yell her name when something happens then.

Where To Begin?

Thank you all for the warm welcome back.  I know you all have had a rough time without your weekly dose of Big Mike and I apologise for that.  The past few months have been tough to say the least.

Here is a brief list of major events:

  1. I had to say goodbye to Moose and put him to sleep in July – (still hard to talk about)
  2. My Wife came back from her year deployment a few days later – (yay me)
  3. Received orders for a Military Permanent Change of Station (PCS)
  4. Had to leave my job – (good and bad)
  5. Endured hardest PCS ever….. – (Did I say worst EVER!?!?)
  6. Searched for new existence in new state….. – (Job, House, everything we take for granted, etc)
  7. Went Paleo on ya’ll – (I eat dinosaurs and like it!)
  8. Stumbled upon new job – (I’m kind of a big thing round here now)
  9. Wrote this post – (you’re welcome)

I know at this time of year, during the holidays, we all get sappy and spill our guts and say how much we love each other.  But I truly am grateful for each and every one of you that reach out to someone you don’t even know (me) and offer kind words and even joke around a bit.  As a military spouse leaving friends behind every few years is tough and trying to make new ones is even harder.  This year I will add you guys to my list of things I’m thankful for on Turkey Day.

Oh and for those slackers out there….this is day 9 of the Burpee Challange….let’s get jumpin!

I’m Back!

A lot has gone on in the months I have been gone from the bloggy blog world and I plan on sharing some of it with you.  But until I can find the time, I pose you this….

Join me in this challenge!

30 Burpees

There is no place you need to go but an open area that allows you to jump around like an idiot and sweat like a maniac.  I have already done day 1.  I am so out of shape and I have a whole list of excuses for that but instead of using them, I’m going to get back in shape!

Day 1 time: 3 min 32 sec

That is about 7 seconds a Burpee…..Let’s see how low I can get that time.

The Unusual Suspect

With the 4th of July coming up and it also seems that deployment rotations are in effect, I have seen more and more Facebook type celebrative poems of being a military WIFE.  They are all about how great it is and isn’t being a military WIFE and how they preserver as most strong women do in the world with odd and daunting tasks that face them while their military man has gone to war.

As a male military spouse I feel a bit slighted by not having one of these poems or posts for us.  I too face many odd and daunting tasks.  The military support systems that are in place are really only geared toward the women spouses and especially for those with children.

It is time for equality!

This is no poem but you will get the point….

I also have to move every 3 or so years and leave behind many friends that usually take the 3 years to make.  It seems that when the time for our Permanent Change of Station (PCS) comes I have just become settled in my new world.

When I meet new people they always assume I’m the military member.  I feel a bit ashamed that I’m not (because it is a great honor to serve one’s country).  But when I point to and say, why no; it’s my wife that is military, I feel a sense of great pride in what she has accomplished.  Why?  Because I know what she has gone through, plus I get to say, “That’s my wife!”

In times of need there are spouse groups I could join in the base community.  But guess what?  They are almost always 99% women and the men never show up.  I don’t fit in well at tea parties.  And I don’t do very well at coupon swaps.  I am usually never asked to join things because I am a male, I am only needed as a volunteer to do the physical things such as lift the heavy box and move things around.

Jobs and career…..don’t even get me started!  They can exist for the lucky few but for the rest it’s whatever you can find as long as the employer doesn’t find out you’re a military spouse.

I hear of how the women of deployed military members always worry about their men in war.  Well, I have a WOMAN in war.  I worry about her probably more so than those women do about their men.

In the 14+ years of marriage I believe we have missed at least 6 wedding anniversaries and countless more birthdays.  Forget about holidays……that is the military’s favorite time to deploy.  We no longer plan for anything because who knows what is coming.

When it all comes down to it, we all have spouses male or female and we share a common bond within the military.  Some just are not as conventional as others.

10 July 2013 marks 15 years of marriage to an incredible woman.  We will miss yet another anniversary but she will be home soon after.  I love you Honey!

The Little Man In My Head Needs To Put The Sledge Hammer Down

Hey all!  This is going to be a real quick post.

The past two weeks I have incurred massive headaches during my workouts.  Today I figured I would take it easy and skip my regularly scheduled program and just do some maintenance on the glory muscles.

So there I am clanging weights around and I was feeling good.  So I pressed my luck and increased the weights and intensity.  BLAM!!!!!!  The worst headache crept up my back and landed on my shoulders and in my lower neck.  Son of a +#@%1/& !!!  It doesn’t stay in one spot all the time.

Today I tried some “alternative” alleviation and rubbed some peppermint essential oil into my temples and forehead area.  It worked but it didn’t.

Anyway, I have no idea why I’m getting these things.  My diet is pretty clean, I’m super hydrated and I’m not working out hungry.

I can’t think of what is going on.  And I really need to figure this out to keep training.

Any thoughts Blogging World?

I would appreciate input if you have suggestions.


Viciously Mediocre

Everything I have been doing lately, of a physical nature, could be rated exactlly as that, viciously mediocre!

I can’t really remember the last post I did for you all.  It has to be at least a month ago.  Since then my wife has come home on a 2 week pass from her deployment.  It was great to see and spend time with her.  But boy did it throw me off track with any kind of training.  Pizza, ice cream and pancakes killed my diet as well.

In those two weeks I gained EVERY single pound I had lost in the first 8 months of her deployment.  Just goes to show how easily one can lose the handle on healthy living.  Not that I blame her for everything.  I made the choice to eat that crap but when I’m the only one that cooks and I have to cook for her and myself and her sister(when she visited)….who wants to cook 6-8-10 different meals in a day?  Ugh!  I have my work cut out for me when she comes back for good in a few months.

Of course I didn’t go back to my healthy ways right away either once she went back.  Again, all personal decisions made by me.

I am happy to say I have worked my ass off the past few weeks.  I have been running regularly and doing some other great workouts that were created by some of you.  So thank you all for that.  I added my own little tweeks but the core of it all was what some of you have shared.

The workouts have been great, the runs have been great but I know I could do better.  Only because I have done better in the past.  I just haven’t been feeling the “greatness” I have felt before.  I have actually felt mediocre.

I made a concious decision to start training for a duathalon again.  Last year I started to train then broke my ankle.  I’m hoping for better results this year.  I’m not sure when or where this duathalon will happen but I will train for one.  I started riding my bike again today!  It felt really good to be back on the road with the wind flying through my helmet and over my bald head.

I do have two positives that have happened recently.  First, I did my body measurements.  I lost over 1 1/2 inches from my waiste.  It doesn’t seem like much but after the jump from the happy healthy wagon I encountered, I’m super thrilled with that.

The second is that we will be moving soon.  I’d rather not say to where right now.  Only because when things seem they are about to happen well in military living, they take a huge 180 degree turn and you end up screwed.  So I don’t want to jinx it, only because this could have a huge change in career potential for me.

Oh I so need to do something mentally satisfying and challenging soon.  Although I have been moved to two different positions since being the produce man, it just doesn’t do it for me.  I have already learned everything there is to know about this job and I have only been in it for a week and a half.  I did have to receive a security clearance (low low low level) to become a receiver for the store, which is a big positive for potential moves up.  Don’t get me wrong, the job is fun and I am still very thankful to be employed.  Some of the cool stuff I can now do is: mess with inventory numbers(not that I do that!) and mark stuff down.  Hey, it’s something.  Plus I now work from 5am or 6 am till 11 or noon.  Which gives me a ton of time to go workout!

Well that is all for now y’all.

Smell ya later!