I Need A Name!

It’s “Tis The Season” again and all kinds of goodies are out in the stores.  I gave in to the hype and picked up one of the hottest little gadgets of the past few years.

No…..it’s not an iPhone!  No……it’s not a tablet, Kindle or other Made in China piece of garbage.

It’s an Elf On The Shelf!

Elf on the shelf

I wanted to adopt a boy elf but as most of you know you don’t always get what you want when it comes to kids!  So I got a girl elf.  Currently she is holding my TV remote control hostage until she gets named.

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I Need Your Help naming her!!!!!

She is already a handful.  Poor Kenai has been a target of her mischief too.

It's behind me isn't it?

It’s behind me isn’t it?

Please help me get my household back in order and keep “What’s Her Name” in some kind of control.  At least I will be able to yell her name when something happens then.

Things You Learn During Physical Therapy

As most of you know I am back in physical therapy.  This time it’s for my neck.  I’m really trying to avoid surgery on my herniated discs. Surgery is just a scary thing to think about.  I have a buddy that had a fusion of his C6 and C7 and it wasn’t as successful as originally thought.  He just recently went in for his second surgery to have the sides of his C7 cut out to free up the nerves as well as have the front of his C6 and C7 fused.

I don’t want that!!!!!!!!

I really hope therapy works but the pain is still there.  I know, I know, things take time to heal and I have only been at this for about 1 1/2 months now.  During my time at this clinic I have learned some great moves for strengthening my neck muscles and some really great stretches.

But that is not what I’m here to write about….

I want to share the things that you learn from talking with people during physical therapy.

First topic on the plate is Hollywood.

THEY LIED TO US!!!!!!

How do I know this?  My therapist told me so.  Not in those words but through my summation of what he told me about the human body.

I’m gonna call out only a few actors here because of their physical stature(they are small peps): Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris and Matt Damon.  But pretty much all of our favorite action heroes are fake!  Really!  No lie.  They all did a “move” that can be done but it is actually a low probability move that only a superhuman could accomplish…..the broken neck twist.  Regardless of the character they played and the supposed training that character had it is still pretty impossible to break someone’s neck by doing the neck twist.

Don’t believe me?  Ask a chiropractor.  Those dudes would all be in jail if it was that easy to break a neck.

The second topic on the plate is Alternative Exercises and Moves.

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It doesn’t look it but it does feel good to have a TENS unit hooked up to my neck with a very large and hot pack on.

During one of my electric stimulation sessions the proprietor of the therapy clinic came up to me after he overheard my discussion about liking alternative ways to exercise and trying new moves.  He pulls out his smart phone (his is only smart – mine is intelligent) and proceeds to show me this….

sledgebell-guyIt is called the SledgeBell.  This thing looks awesome.  Here is the LINK if you want to check it out yourself.  I’m still waiting on my permission from the “Ball and Chain” to get one for myself.  But it looks pretty awesome.  I may have to click the purchase button and just ask for forgiveness later.  The weather looks like it wants to change for the better and this is just another reason to go outside.

Well that is it for now.  I leave you with this to think about……….Are you as dedicated to your workouts like this pup is to playing fetch?

dog with sticks and ball

Making It Through The Holidays, A Dog’s Tale

I think this story begins just after Thanksgiving……yeah, just after Thanksgiving….

Yummmmmm

Yummmmmm

Well, there go the leftovers!  Turkey, stuffing and mashed taters….everything a growing dog needs.

One holiday down and a few more to go till mommy comes home from her deployment.  We miss the mommy.  The daddy says she comes home in like 6 months.  My brother and I did the math and we think that is like 100 years long.  We’ll have to check our numbers again, it could be longer.

Last year daddy was a little depressed and didn’t do much for the holidays cause mommy was deployed then too.  It was real tough on us too.  This year the daddy is making things more festive.

For Christmas we got a live tree this year.  We didn’t even put up a fake one last year.  We’re not sure if it’s cause he was afraid that we would try to “water it” or he wasn’t in the spirit.  The daddy said we were really lucky because a great organization that likes military families donated Christmas trees to our base this year.  And because the mommy is deployed they picked daddy to specifically get one.  We want to thank the organization “Trees for Troops” for the awesome tree they gave daddy!

Trees for Troops Tree

Trees for Troops Tree

Daddy didn’t want to put ornaments on it because that is what the mommy does each Christmas.  It lets us enjoy the season but still remember that the mommy is not here with us.

Not long after the daddy put up the tree he was sick with the flu.  He wasn’t doing well at all….

Poor daddy......

Poor daddy……

It took the daddy a whole week to get better.  But when he felt better he went back to “Decking the Halls.”

Daddy went all out this year.  He even put up decorations and christmas lights outside.

No lights up high cause daddy doesn't like heights!

No lights up high cause daddy doesn’t like heights!

We like this pic expecially because of the awesome pic in the middle on the mantle!

We like this pic especially because of the awesome pic in the middle on the mantle!

Now all that’s left is to wait for the Santa to show up with all kinds of treats and toys for us to destroy!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

From: Moose, Kenai & The Daddy (aka – Big Mike)

Roast Beast, Beer & Scones

It’s mid day Wednesday and I needed a quick break from my transcribing some stories for this awesome author I’m helping out.  I will have to share her stuff soon.

Anyway, I needed some food and quick.  I was up all night with my dogs during some really bad storms that rolled through the St. Louis area.  My wife really messed them up by making them “Momma’s Boys.”  They freak out at the smallest things.  Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep since I had to have a death grip on both of them all night so they would settle down.  I’ve tried everything for them; Thunder shirt, calming treats, loving embrace and nothing works.

OK so I didn’t want to cook anything or warm up my chicken burgers I made last night.  I wanted out of the house for a bit to clear my head.  So I rounded up the dogs and we headed out the door.  First stop was for some food.  What to eat and not gain 100 lbs?  Arbys!!!!  Yes!  I have a weakness for most foods but a Roast Beast sammich from Arbys always gets me.  I rolled up to the drive thru and at first glance I wanted it all.  But I knew I couldn’t since I need to watch my figure…ya know what I mean?  I ordered the biggest super gimongus roast beast sammich they had and an iced tea.  “Would you like to make that a combo so you can get fries with dat?”  said the voice through the little box outside.  NO I would not, thank you very much, I said.

See, look at that, self-control.  I’m trying to lead by example here folks……. Although my sammich was probably 1000 cals itself, I refused to pile more garbage on top of that.  So I pull away to park and eat in the near by Target parking lot.  A bite for me and a bite for my little buddies.  There was no way I was going to eat this whole sammich myself.  It was 1000 cals!  So I shared the love.  Not like I had a choice.  My one dog that was sitting in the front seat already had his face buried in the bag licking the sammich.  So it didn’t take long for the three of us to destroy that sammich.  On to the second reason I wanted out of the house, clear my head.  What better to do that but by spending some cash!

I’m worrying myself a bit cause I’m sounding like a girl here but spending some money and getting yourself a little something makes some people a little happier and chipper for the rest of the day.

So right beside Target is this store I wandered in one day and was extremely surprised at how awesome it was, World Market.  I thought it was a grocery store before I ever went in but…..not so much when I looked in.  It was like a Michael’s but with cool stuff in it.  What store with beer in it is not cool, right?  Well, last night I was going through some junk mail I got and saw a flyer for the place and saw they had some really neat items on sale.  Why not go check them out in person to see how cool they really are?

Well, they didn’t have everything from the flyer….big disappointment.  I guess they were out.  Oh well, there is still beer to look at!

The best part about their beer selection is that I’ve never seen most of these.  And…And you can buy just one of each and make your own 6-pack.  I know!  So here is what I picked out: Magic Hat’s Hex Ourtoberfest, O’Fallon Brewery Pumpkin Beer(made right across the Mississippi in O’Fallon MO), Buffalo Bill’s Brewery America’s Original Pumpkin Ale, Blue Moon’s Harvest Pumpkin Ale, Angry Orchard Hard Cider Apple Ginger (naturally gluten-free!), and last but not least angry Orchard Hard Cider Crisp Apple (also gluten-free).  Like my Fall-ish Halloweeny October selection?  I can’t wait to try them.

Oh and I can’t forget my prize selection:

Mmmmmmmmm Scones!  Well, scone mix.  But it will eventually be turned into scones.  I can’t wait to sit back and enjoy some with a cup of tea.  And NO, I don’t hold my pinky out when I drink my tea.

 
OK back to work for me.  I will probably take another break to workout and make some dinner with a new toy I bought yesterday.

 
Stay tuned!

Angry Balls (TM)

Alright lazy bones!  Time to get off the couch and exercise!

Not now dad! I only had 10 naps so far today…

We have all played Angry Birds on our smart phones….right?

Well, I created a game called Angry Balls for my dogs to play.  It consists of a bunch of squeaky tennis balls being thrown off a wall and the dogs chasing and catching the balls till they pass out.  I call it Angry Balls in tribute to Angry Birds because when the dogs catch or step on the balls they sound like the birds from the game Angry Birds.  That and it is kind of a funny name.  Sooooo, there you have it!

It’s a fun game as long as they don’t get over-anxious and try to grab a ball out of your hand and inadvertently sink a tooth into a finger.  Or they get a crap ton of droll on the balls that they slip out of your hands.  Here is a clip to check out on my Tumblr page (CLICK ME) (CLICK ME TOO) (CLICK THIS ONE TOO) (LAST ONE)

Here’s what you’ll need:

  1. a cute dog or 2
  2. a bunch of squeaky tennis balls (ours are made by Kong )
  3. 1-4 walls (the key here is to have bare walls to bounce the balls off of)
  4. a carpeted floor a plus
  5. lots of energy
  6. a great treat for after the game (we like carrots and honeydew melon)

Tip: Make sure to only play for 15-20 min at a time and do potty breaks or you might end up with a wet playing field.

Good workout dad! I need a nap now….

And I leave you with a little funny something:

The Pursuit For Legs Of Steel

Oh my goodness!  It’s been 7-8 weeks now since I last ran.  And that was because I broke my ankle , not because I’m lazy.  Well, I am but that is not the reason for not running.

Yesterday I had one of my well deserved days off from work, the world, getting up and rushing around.  I did get up super early though.  It was only because I wanted to get a good jump on the day.  I had plans….big plans.  I wanted to run today!  But first I had to take my wife’s car to get the emissions done so I could get the registration renewed.  I was off to a good start.  I medicated and watered the dogs successfully and had a great breakfast.  I even remembered to take a shower!

Keys, wallet, and phone in hand and out the door I went.  I jump in the car and take off to the emissions center.  I knew exactly where it was (I told myself).  It was only 4 miles from my house.  30 minutes later I said to myself I have no idea where it’s at.  I felt so lost I had to pull over in a parking lot to look up the address.  That’s when I realized I drove a good 15 miles in the wrong direction and had to laugh at myself.  Idiot!

Car turned around and headed in the right direction I finally found the place.  Awesome sauce!  There was no line.  I pulled right up to the empty bay and the guy waved me in.  He scanned the bar code on my door and checked my VIN on my hood.  He just smiled and asked, “Did you get something in the mail saying you needed to come in?”

“Yup, sure did.  I have my registration renewal due by the end of the month.”

“Well sir.  You’re not due till December to have this vehicle checked.  Are you sure it was THIS vehicle that needed to be done?”

RUFKM!  I took the wrong car!  It was my wife’s car that needed checked not mine!

It was an honest mistake.  I never drive her car.  In fact, I don’t like driving her tank.  So I avoid even touching it.  So I drove away embarrassed and probably laughed at by the tech.  By the time I got home, now knowing where I am and directions, it was just way to hot to do a run till late at night.

What to do?  What to do?  I busted out an old leg routine I used to do back in Colorado when I would ride my bike a lot.  It had a lot of front squats, dead lifts, hack squats, leg curls and extensions.  I even threw in a bunch of KB swings to add some aerobic activity into this workout.

That routine took a lot out of me since I have been babying my left ankle for so long.  But it did hold up with the strain I just put on it.

Thursday morning:

I wasn’t goona be fooled again by this emissions place.  I was gonna look up to see if my wife’s car even needed the test before I got lost again and killed the nice cool morning air.  Ha! Their website has nothing showing that I need to get the emissions checked.  Well, there is 2 hours saved.

Medicated and water the dogs and had another great breakfast.  I checked my emails and perused the almighty interwebtube for the latest news I may have missed while asleep.  Nothing good, so enough time wasted….lets run!

If you follow my tumbler posts you can see that I was fairly excited but cautious about this mornings run.  I ended up only doing 1 mile.  I had no stamina, none!  I think it took me 20 minutes to run that stupid mile.  Best thing though is that my ankle took the pounding.  Until now…..as I’m writing this I feel it getting all twitchy and achy.  I expect that to happen for a while.  I think I will need to focus on my lower body for some time until I get back to a normal running time.

Well that is the beginning of my pursuit for legs of steel.

 

The Watermelon Experience

There has been its ups and downs with working in a grocery store.  Hopefully you have read my first instalment of The Commissary Diaries and enjoyed the emotional ride with me.  There are more great experiences to come.  Like this one.

This isn’t truly a Commissary Diaries entry because it’s not about what happens there.  But the adventure did start there.

It was that time again to do some grocery shopping.  But I had to endure a long arduous shift behind the register before I got to partake in the goodies I saw swipe through my lane.

4PM finally hit and there was still a line beyond what I could see.  Oh well, sucks to be them, I’m done.  I did however offer to stay and help get the line down but we are no longer allowed to work non scheduled hours.  Whatever!  I offered and hopefully karma will remember.

I sign out and make  a mad dash to get a hand basket to grab a few items to get me through the next days to come.  First stop is the produce aisle.  Oh so many delicious items waiting for me.  I grab my staple, apples.  I decided to try out the Honey Krisp type this time.  Not much to write home on about those…. 😦  but an apple is an apple.  I grabbed an overflowing bag of my new favorite cherry, the Rainier variety.  WOW WOW WOW!  Two thumbs up and I’ll give it two big toes up as well.

I walk around and pick at the other fresh looking fruits.  I grabbed some veggies as well, carrots – onions – peppers – yams – etc.  I walk off to grab some chicken, whole wheat english muffins and eggs.  I had this strange feeling I forgot something.  So I walked back to the produce section and there it was…….a fresh cut half watermelon.  How did I miss this?  It was only $1 too!  At the commissary a whole one goes for $6.  Who cares if it’s on its last leg.  I’m gonna eat the crap out of it tonight!

I have been working a lot the past few weeks and feel like I have been neglecting my pups.  I decided to spend some extra time with them by playing ball and giving extra tummy rubs.  Two hours later we woke up from a nap and were all hungry.  How do I know they were hungry?  They are always hungry…

I needed to do a little cardio since I skipped any kind of workout today.  Like I said before, I have been really tired from being on my feet a lot at work.  Anyway, I jump on my bike that’s sitting on the trainer in the living room and watched the first half of the Hall of Fame Game on the NFL Network.  It’s not like an outdoor ride but I can sure max out my effort and get hungry doing it.

Shower, dressed, and now searching for some food.  I somehow managed to pull Duh moment and realized I put the chicken I just bought in the freezer when I got home.  So what to do for dinner?  Chicken-sicles?  Fast food?  Ugh!

I decided to pull out all of the fruit I bought and just have a healthy big snack of fruit.  And why not end the day by sharing the greatness of it with my little buddies.  🙂

Who doesn’t like watermelon?  They even ate the rind.

Sit back and share a little something good with your family.  You won’t regret it!