It’s On Like Donkey Kong!

We here at Big Mike’s World love us a challenge.  In fact we don’t really turn one down.  It’s like calling Marty McFly a chicken or yellow.  Our friend over at the The Life of Jamie threw down the gauntlet and unfortunately for her, it broke into many pieces and she can’t pick it up and take back her challenge.

The challenge is to see who will lose the most percentage of body weight by 31 July of this year (I hope that is what she meant…).  Little did our friend Jamie know that I am a mad scientist as well.  My laboratory and I have been researching the magic weight loss pill that doesn’t require any exercise whatsoever!

Oh!  You want the secret of my weight loss pill, do ya?  OK!  It’s just a sugar pill with a tapeworm egg in it.  Yeah!  That’s right, a tape worm!

Freddie and I, yeah I named my tapeworm Freddie, will not lose this battle of weight loss.  Poor Jamie, she really has no clue what hit her yet.

So here is the full challenge:

We have until 31 July to see who loses the most percentage of weight.  We will be taking progress pictures and posting them on Saturdays.  My pictures will be more of a psych-out pose.  I will probably be holding an extra large pizza with all the toppings.  Just to try and mess with Jamie mentally in hopes she falls off course (I don’t like to lose).

The winner will gain control over the other’s blog for a week!  Or we can do a monetary wager…..

What do you all think?

Oh and she suggests a shirtless pics of me too….I think you guys just want to see how hairy I really am!!  I’m not so sure of the shirtless pic though.  Sasquatch might need to stay in hiding.  You never know who might show up at my door.  I may do one at the very end when I have time to sharpen the hedge clippers and do some manscaping!

I will however be doing body tapeage…..I like to see where I lose and where I gain.  So you will be privy to all my measurements as well.

Tomorrow morning will be pre challenge feet on scale weight shot.

Stay tuned as I open up a can of whoop-ass!  Sorry Jamie but I’m gonna go all out Honey Badger on this challenge…….

Real Men Shave Their Legs…..or So I Thought

So today I had a day off of work.  What a needed break.  LOL!  If you don’t remember I just had a 3 day weekend not too long ago.  But hey, who am I to complain?  Since I have been going hard with exercise I decided to take today off completely and let the body relax.  Plus it was wicked hot out and the wind is blowing like a hurricane.  That combination of weather makes running or biking unfun.  Yeah, I just made up a new word.  Add that to your Webster’s Dictionary and put it right beside google, bling and getting chocolate wasted.

Like this but different 🙂

I decided to make good use of my time off.  I ran some errands to include grocery shopping….at my place of work.  I know, I know.  Why would I do that?  But the prices are the best around and it’s so darn close to my house.  That and all day yesterday at work people were buying some awesome looking veggies and fruit.  I wanted some!  I had to pass on the $7 a pound cherries but grabbed some nice looking Macintosh apples for mid day snack.  We have this really great pepper in the store called the Hunky Hot.  It is basically a really long pepperoncini.

Speaking of Hunky Hots…. 🙂   Great segway if you ask me…

I read an article online today about body grooming.  I thought the article was funny.  Only because someone is trying to tell me whether or not it was OK for me to shave my legs or if I shaved my arms I needed to shave my shoulders and back too!  Who is this person to tell me what to do?

Now before I share what was really in the article, I have learned that there is a secret to body grooming for both male and female.  The secret is….you don’t tell anyone you do it or it will seem weird!  Or in my world; funny, good blog material and a true story!

I think I have already told you that I am a cross between an ape and Robin Williams when it comes to hair coverage.  I don’t know why.  It could be because I ignored and tempted fate on all the old wive’s tales about stuff like that when I was little.

  • I ate the crust on bread but never got curly hair.
  • I stepped (jumped really hard) on every single crack in the sidewalk and still never broke my mother’s back.
  • My face never stayed in the funny face position.  Well, that one may have come true…..
  • And when I found out about my sexual ability, I never went blind! 🙂

OK enough about me….time for the article review!

Do — Trim armpit hair  /  Don’t — Shave armpits bare

If his head looks like this..Imagine what his armpits look like!

Their take: Short armpit hair is good unless you’re a model and you will sweat less…

My take: They start the damn article off with a lie!  Less hair does not = less sweat.  It does however mean less stink!  I want equal rights too!  Who made models so special?

Do — Groom chest hair  /  Don’t — Go Brazilian or bare everywhere

Good use of manscaping but Hugh, you still don’t have anything on me buddy!

Their take: Some hair on the chest is good for finger running but not wooly mammoth length. But no hair is OK too.

My take:  Will ya make up your mind, please?  Some, a little, none but not all.  WTH!  And since when did the Brazilians get the corner of the market on being hairless?  Didn’t the Mexican Hairless dog start the trend?  Either way, I’m not so sure if I want to follow the ideas of a country that only has cocaine and being hairless going for them.

Do — Get rid of shoulder and back hair

And NO! This is not me!

Their take:  It’s unsightly at best!  Get rid of it all!

My take:  OK, I can see how it could be gross.  Especially in the throws of passion, to grab a hand full of soggy back hair…LOL!  I’m glad I’m not a woman….I’m also waiting for the cops to knock on my door to warn me to stop walking in front of our windows with my shirt off.  You’re scaring the children, sir!!!  Look mommy!  Sasquatch!  EEEEKK!

Do — Keep it trimmed down there  /  Don’t — Shave patterns

Their take:  A clean playing field is good to go!

Again NO! This is not me!

My take:  I get it.  A clean field is gtg for me too.  The twig and berries will look bigger and cleaner with less shrubbery.  But look, I believe in keeping a good appearance but if I want to shave an arrow pointing down at my Mr. Happy…I’ll do it!

So what’s my total take on Manscaping?  It’s great but don’t take it to extremes, I guess.  The word is also way too close to sounding like a chore.  And my honey-do list is long enough, if you know what I mean…wink! wink!

Now go away!  I need some privacy……..I’m Manscaping!