My Poor Body


So today is the day after my birthday and I figured why not start another 90 day go around of P90X to fight the effects of aging.  Well, that was the idea anyway.  After a few hundred pushups, a hundred pullups and however may situps I did with the Ab Ripper X my body began to hate me.  The first thing to really get me was my neck….

Yeah, that is me in this x-ray.  My poor ole neck is a little out of whack.  I actually have two herniated discs that, well, never healed.  This is a fairly old injury.  It bothers me from time to time.  When it gets really bad my left arm goes a little numb and I get sharp shooting pains from my neck to my fingers and down my back.  I have a decrease in strength in my left side which makes working out interesting.  About 9 months ago I had an epidural steroid injection in my neck.  It worked for almost 2 months.  What is a guy supposed to do?  Some Motrin and a heating pad is basically all I can do while avoiding surgery.

Then all of a sudden my lower back started to hurt.  I don’t get it but I blame the situps for that pain.  It has to be, right?  And out of nowhere my left foot started to hurt and I didn’t even run today.

I have stress fractures in both of my feet.  The same bone (5th metatarsal), in the same place, happened a year apart from each other to the day.  I always found that weird.  I never thought such a little bone could cause so much pain.  They still hurt when I run.  But the good thing is, I can tell when it is going to rain….. 🙂

In high school I had an umbilical hernia.  That sucker hurt!  I ignored it for a while.  I still remember how it happened.  I was doing squats and just couldn’t come up.  Stupid me kept lifting then went for a run.  After the run, I had blood on my shirt where my belly button is.  I looked but didn’t see where it was coming from.  It wasn’t flowing so it must not be that bad.  A few days passed and I start to smell this foul odor.  It was embarrassing because I was at that age where I was very aware of the girls around.  I had no idea if they could smell what I smelled too.  It almost smelled like I pooped my pants (not that I have done that).  But I knew if the aftermath in the bathroom could peel wallpaper, this is probably not a good thing to have linger around while trying to attract a girl.  I think what made me speak up was after I couldn’t bend over anymore and the smell got worse.  If you don’t know what an umbilical hernia is, it is a tear in the stomach muscles.  If it’s bad enough it will allow your intestines to pop out .  Luckily they didn’t come bursting out like Sigourney Weaver’s worst nightmare.  That whole episode almost made me miss my senior year playing lacrosse.

Oh lacrosse, my weakness and sport of choice.  I had more injuries from that than anything else I have ever done.  I had to have leg surgery because of it.  I played defense and was a very active person on the field in terms of defending my goal.  I would jump in front of shots and get hit in various places that didn’t have pads.  I was repeatedly hit in my right shin by shots game after game.  I was hit so many times it damaged a major vein in my leg.  It looked like the Incredible Hulk trying to escape from my shin.  Not that you want to know but I had to have 6 ft. of vein stripped from my right leg because of it.

Well, 5-6 moths ago I had another surgery on the same leg to fix another bad vein.  Thankfully technology has advanced and I was only down and out for a few days.  I just had another surgery 3 weeks ago, this time on my left leg.  It turns out I just have bad valves in the major veins in my legs that don’t shut off the blood from flowing.  The pain during my recovery from these surgeries kinda sucks.  The actual vein was closed off from my shin to my groin.  And as the vein accepts this being done, it feels like a bad groin pull with each step.  Which makes running so much fun!

Well there are a few things no one ever wanted to know about me.  But I shared them away.

If you are having a bad day at the gym just think of my issues and finish strong while being thankful that you are not me.

Now go workout!

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11 thoughts on “My Poor Body

  1. jeez dude! You have some serious baggage! I thought I did, but you win! Feel better! If it makes you feel any better, I started doing P90X after my second child (a c-section). I lasted a week before I felt like I was going to bust a stitch. I couldn’t even do the sit ups. Now at 33 I have arthritis, bursitis and a bad back. I had a stress fracture in my foot in college…those mo-fo’s hurt like a bitch!

    • I never really looked at all my baggage until I went to the doctors the other day and I had to write down all the surgeries and issues I have. The nurse looked at my sheet and said I was one messed up dude. But I know there are people out there that are worse off than me. That’s why I keep plugging away.

      I think I will have to bow out and let you take the prize. Women are amazing. To do what you do….have kids, deal with us men, etc, I say nothing beats that!

    • Ha! I have plenty of scars too…unfortunately/fortunately no shark scars. I have this really cool scar on my bottom lip. In grade school I was pushed/fell off the top of a sliding board and landed on my face. My top teeth went through my bottom lip. It was really cool. I had grass and dirt stuck in there. I didn’t feel a thing until the school nurse started pressing an ice pack on my face.

  2. Big Mike. We will have to hook up some day and trade injury and scar stories like they did in that Jaws movie. I’m pretty much held together with pins and tape also!
    Interesting and entertaining read. Looking forward to more of the same.
    Stay well..ahm relatively speaking I guess.
    Rock on and smile through the pain.

    Doug

  3. Pingback: Been Gettin Any……….Exercise? | Big Mike's World

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