All Aboard for The Bad Decision Train

Let me start off with today.  I’m not really sure what is going on with me but I have been so tired and out of it.  I don’t seem to have any energy to get past work.  I have been working out before actually going to work but I’m pretty much stuporous.  I know!  That a pretty big word for someone who is as tired as me.

Anyway, today at 4pm started a long 3 day weekend for me.  I’m not sure how I got 3 days off in a row and on a weekend of all things.  But I have absolutely nothing to do for these 3 days.  I put out an APB on Twitter and Facebook for anyone wanting to do something while I’m off but to no avail.  I guess it goes to show how pathetic my social life is.  I don’t even have a softball game on Friday to pass an hour of my life away on.

So with the emptiness of all this time staring me in the face along with my unexplainable lethargy I caved and ordered a pizza for dinner.  I figured I might as well throw a little pity party for myself.  I knew it was a huge mistake right after I hit enter.  I even thought of just not going to pick it up because I knew it was such a bad mistake.

I couldn’t bear knowing I wasted the money on a pizza and not even pick it up.  So I yelled, “To The Batmobile!”  And my two Jack Russell Terriers, Moose and Kenai, ran to the car to go for a ride.  I guess my mistake got us out of the house for a bit.  We got back and I fed them pizza crust and of course they loved every crumb.  I choked down 1 piece and regretted every chew.

Yeah, I just made one big cookie

It doesn’t stop there.  I felt so horrible for even getting the pizza I ate some cookies after.  I know!  Stop it Mike!!!!  I guess it goes to show that once you make one bad decision more follow. Now I didn’t just open a bag of store bought cookies I had stored in the pantry.  Nope!  I went all out and made some from scratch.  I just couldn’t stop.  I swear I was outside of my body just watching the fat kid inside me do all these things and I couldn’t hold him back.  I should have just made some granola bars or something better.  But since the wife is not home I figured why not use her chocolate chips, she doesn’t need them right now…..Ugh!

I even started the day off so well too.  I woke up early and let the dogs out to play with their soccer balls while I went for a run.  I had steel cut oats with a splash of milk and some cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice when I came back.  I had a few slices of turkey and my protein shake for lunch with big plans of doing a great weight routine when I got home from work.

I also left for work 15 minutes early and sat outside to soak in some vitamin D.  I guess that is where my day went down hill.  I was sitting by a few of my co-workers that were also waiting outside before starting their day.  I knew I should have just kept on walking to a different spot but I didn’t want to be rude and snub them.  But the whole time I sat there they were all complaining about how much they hate people, work, school, life, and blah blah blah.  So negative…..

So I have a plan!

I will take up all that empty time staring me in the face and use it to my advantage.

Friday:

Run – 3 to 5 miles……we’ll see how hot it is before I make up my mind

Bike – plan is to do 20 – 30 miles around the base flightline

Work on the glamor muscles – Found Arnold’s old arm routine and will give it a shot: Here it is

Standing Barbell Curls
5-8 sets of 8-12 cheating reps

Incline Dumbbell Curls
5-8 sets of 8-12 reps

Concentration Curls
5 sets of 10 reps

Alternating Dumbbell Curls
5 sets of 10 reps

And if I can still feel my arms I will do pullups as well

Saturday:

Run – 3 to 5 miles

Let the butt recover, no bike

Fertilize the yard, better known as “the football field”

Leg Routine – Compliments of Johnny O Jackson

Leg Extensions
Sets 1-4: 25-30 reps
Set 5: (drop set) 25 reps each

Free Standing Squats
Sets 1-3: 25-30 reps
Set 4-5: (drop set) 25 reps each

Incline Leg Press
Sets 1-2: 25-35 reps
Set 3: 60 reps

Smith Machine Lunges
3 sets of 10-15 reps

Lying Leg Curl
Sets 1-3: 10-15 reps
Set 4: (triple drop set) 10-15 reps

Sunday

After 2 days of heavy lifting I think I will need to pull it back a bit

P90X Core Synergistics and maybe Cardio X

Walk the dogs

Do Laundry

Pre cook and prep some meals for the week

AND in dedication to one of our own from the Blogosphere:

Stephanie @ My Glorified Journal

I will go carb free to honor her accomplishment of making it to and through her first figure competition.  If you are in some need of any kind of motivation to get fit, you need to just read or watch one of her posts.  I guarantee you will feel her intensity and see the results of her dedication to her goal.  Good Luck Stephanie and we look forward to hearing what it was like to be on the big stage.

Ok peeps….do something constructive this weekend and be safe.

That is all

Big Mike Does Wen Hair?

 

No he doesn’t!  You have seen pictures of me.  I have no hair.  But hey, did you know that Alyssa Milano does Wen Hair?  I did.  The only reason I know that is because that infomercial is always on.  I don’t even really know what the product is.  But I guess the fact that Alyssa Milano uses it, or at least she says she uses it, that I should be too.  Why not?  It’s only $29.99 for a 6 oz. bottle of whatever it is.  I don’t see what could go wrong with using such an over priced product, do you?

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, that could happen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I bet it feels really good in your hair, right?

 

 

 

 

 

Well, I could be wrong.

 

So what’s my point?  Well, it’s just another bad marketing scheme.  I was recently asked by a fellow blogger, after reading my post Don’t Worry, It Comes With Instructions (Part 2), if I was going to be the new spokes person for Slim Jim.  I think that would be a great marketing scheme and you will know why once you read that post.  I can see the commercial now…it is worthy of Toby or a Telly award.

And now for the worst non-connected transition you’ll ever see ……..

I got another award!  Woo woo!  Yeah that’s right, I’m hot ish baby!  I received an endorsement from a fellow friend/blogger, Sharon @ A Bump To The Head .  She gave me the Genuine Blogger Award! (This is going right up on my wall of shinny before the fat kid in me gets his hands on it.  It looks like a chocolate bar…I can’t take the chance, he could eat it.)

Sharon is a pretty awesome laaydee.  She’s a Brit that lives in New Zealand.  How cool is that?  I really think you all should be reading her blog.  She says some crazy things like: wallop, bonzer, g’day, dinky di, and mate.  I’m sure she talked about wallabies at some point and I bet she carries a huge knife too!  Or was that Mick Dundee?  I could be making all this up too.  You won’t know unless you check her blog out.  Either way she is a cool blogger and I know you all will be reading her stuff soon.  I won’t do any spoilers on Sharon but she is a very inspirational laaydee.  What are you waiting for?  Go now!  Check her out!

So what is the Genuine Blogger Award?  I don’t know and I don’t think anyone else does either.  There are no rules attached to receiving and giving it.  That’s what makes it genuine.  It is a chance for someone to reach out to another blogger and say, “Hey, you done goodly.  I’m like’in that ish your postin.”  Hopefully you all feel that way about my writing.

I try to bring a little levity to the heaviness of everyday life.  I’m sure my humor is not for everyone but I bet I can make you laugh at some point.  If it hasn’t happened yet, I can feel it coming soon.  Just have a Kleenex ready in case milk comes shooting out your nose.  I have also been known to make women pee a little when they read my stuff.  I’m not too sure how to take that one though.

What do you have to look forward to if you stick around?

Well, there is still that naked picture of me at 3 yrs old laying  with my ass in the air on a large stuffed dog posing for the camera eating a piece of cheese that you haven’t seen yet.  And then there is the one of me around the same age sitting “in” the toilet eating a piece of pizza.  Yeah, there is a pattern here.  All my embarrassing pictures involves food and me being naked.  But at least I’m consistent.  And I’m pretty sure my one uncle has a picture (of the aftermath) of the time I pooped in the bath tub, with him in it……I don’t think anyone wants to see that pic though.

Now if that doesn’t bring you back, I guess I’ll just toss it out and add this current marketing campaign to the following list of bad marketing research/slogans/and campaigns.

The Horror of bad Marketing

The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?”  Mmmmm, Milk!

Coors put its slogan, “Turn It Loose,” into Spanish, where it was read as “Suffer From Diarrhea.” (had to use spell check) I bet if you drink too much that could happen.

Clairol introduced the “Mist Stick,” a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that “mist” is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “Manure Stick.”  Mmmmm, I love the smell of manure in the morning!

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what’s inside, since many people can’t read, take a guess at what they thought was in the jar…..

Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.  Hey, it’s really just white toothpaste, I promise!

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope’s visit. Instead of “I saw the Pope” (el Papa), the shirts read “I Saw the Potato” (la papa).  Which could have worked in Idaho….

The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as “Kekoukela”, meaning “Bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax”, depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent “kokou kole”, translating into “happiness in the mouth.”  Which again is like biting a wax tadpole……

When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, “It won’t leak in your pocket and embarrass you.” The company thought that the word “embarazar” (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: “It won’t leak in your pocket and make you pregnant!”  As long as it’s your first time… 🙂

When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its “Fly In Leather” campaign literally, which meant “Fly Naked” (vuela en cuero) in Spanish!  I’m in!

The famous fried Chicken hub KFC’s slogan “finger-lickin good” when marketed was translated into China as“eat your fingers off.”  And how do we not know that it’s not really Soylent Green?  Then it would be true.

When Ford tried selling it’s car “Pinto” in Brazil it was a huge failure. The reason – the word “Pinto” is a slang for small penis in Brazil.  That’s no bueno!!

When Hunt – Wesson introduced their Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos, they forgot to note one thing, Gros Jos is the slang for “big breasts.”  I took 4 years of French in high school and never knew that, what a jip!

Until next time…….do your research, please!  And while you’re at it go visit Sharon @ A Bump To The Head.