I’d Like a McFlirty For Here, Please

So yes, by the title you can tell I went to McDonald’s.  I know, I know, I can here you all right now yelling at me….blah blah blah fat calories cholesterol and diabetes.  Let me explain.

Yesterday I had to bring my Mazda to the dealer for some scheduled maintenance.  And since I had the day off I decided to make an O’Dark Thirty appointment so I could get on with my day.  Turns out all I needed was an oil change.  Lucky for me I had a coupon for that.  Then I used my Super Intelligent Phone (some call them just smart but my phone feels slighted by that term) and checked in to the dealership using the application Foursquare and I received a loyalty check-in coupon for a $15 oil change.  Guess what I used on that visit?

Anyway, that is not what this post is really about.

The dealership is near a strip mall which has a McD’s, a Culver’s, a Panda Express and a Jack-in-the-Box.  I really only wanted coffee and knew McD’s had the $1 any size coffee in the mornings.  It was a bit of a walk in the brisk 15 degree temp with a nice slap in the face wind.  I would have ran but I hadn’t had my coffee yet!  You feel me?

As soon as I get in to the McD’s I knew it was just going to be one of those days.  There were 3 customers swarming and pacing by the counter with “that” look on their faces.  Geez!  They all took their turn yelling at the unlucky person to approach the counter.  I get it, you paid for something and you expect to get the right thing, but people come on……you shouldn’t be eating there anyway.  Take the hint!

I didn’t but I needed to kill a few hours thinking I was getting brakes and all kinds of things done on my Amazing Mazda.

Actual size of the coffee I needed that morning

Actual size of the coffee I needed that morning

I got my coffee (black-no cream or sugar) and searched out a nice quiet private little spot in the back of the restaurant.  I pulled out my Super Intelligent Phone and clicked in to the free Wi-Fi I was promised by the sticker on the front door of the store.  I started surfing the internet for the news and was greatly disappointed as usual.  This is not going to get me through a few hours.  Thankfully out of nowhere this old lady sits down behind me.  I think she was a bit crazy.  She was talking with herself as she read the paper.  She would say a passage then giggle and respond with some satirical comment.  I loved it!  I was like, hells yeah, blog material!

A few minutes later an old man sits down at a table by her.  I was like, this is going to get good…

She started talking with him.  And as a typical guy he had little to say back…..until another old guy shows up!  I know, I know, there was an actual commercial like this but this is real life stuff.  You can’t make this up!  I think when McD’s made the commercial they got the idea from this group right here.

The second old guy sat down and said hi to the lady and ignored the other guy.  She said hi back and told him about an article she just told the first guy.  The second guy had an opinion and shared.  Then the first guy, not to be out done, decided to enter the conversation.  Now he talks….

The second guy moves to a closer table to the lady.  More talking, and some awkward giggling and laughter by them all.  Was I back in high school?  The first guy now moves in closer sitting at the same table as the lady.  Not a few seconds later the second guy jumps to the seat beside him.

I pretty much lost track of what anyone was saying since my wife did a morale call right after all that happened.  I was watching what they were all doing.  There was a lot of arm touching and googly eyes.

The whole scenario was funny to watch cause that first guy was gonna play it all smooth until that second guy showed up.  I wonder if this is what it’s like in retirement homes.?.

I have also declared that section of the restaurant the Flirting section.  So if you see a bunch of old people sitting in a group at a McD’s near the restrooms, you know that is now the designated Flirting section.

So I guess life doesn’t end after 65….at least for these three it didn’t.

Thanks for the smiles old timers!


Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

So here I am trying to get over being sick for the second time this winter…. 😦

I needed to cheer myself up so I wrote you all a top 10 list.


Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

10. You refused to get a flu shot this year touting you never get sick

9. Doctors have no clue what’s wrong with you

8. You type in your symptoms to WebMD and the top diagnosis is that you are pregnant even though you clicked male as your sex

7. Between the ringing in your ears, the throbbing sound of your headache, your constant puking, and the nagging cough, you think you’re listening to a never-ending Justin Bieber song

5. Your extreme chills cause the thermostat to click on as you walk by

4. Your eyes and nose are so red you cause traffic confusion at intersections

3. You start speed watching seasons 1-3 of “House” on Netflix to figure out how he would have cured the flu

2. You smell like a baboon’s butt and no one complains about it

1. You just realized I skipped #6 and you don’t really care, in fact you’re glad I did





The First Dilemma Of The New Year

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone!

The year 2012 ended with me being perplexed.  Every department in the commissary had to do a monthly inventory on top of lowering everyone’s work hours.  In my eyes this led to a major breakdown in function, at least in the produce department.  But that wasn’t the major issue that hit me the last day of 2012.  Without naming names or getting too close to divulging too much information, I will tell you my story.

The work day began approximately 15 minutes to 3PM (I do a lot of free work).  I walked through the produce back door and the boss was ecstatic to see me.  Lets just say I saw the reason and the huge mess in front of me.  The mess was not the perplexing issue nor was the fact that there was only one employee there for the past 2 hours prior to me showing up.

One of the problems walks in 10 minutes late like usual, if not later on other days.  It just so happens it is a love interest of the person that has been the only one in the department most of the day by themself. 

The rest of the crew showed up on time and the boss gave us all our “missions” on the fly.  Needless to say I had the main mission to save his butt.  Our one receiver in the morning rarely does their job to any extent.  And usually leaves the bulk of the work for those of us that come in later in the day.  Fair, unfair, does it really matter?  This person is a well entrenched government employee and it would take an act of God to get rid of him/her.  My mission if I chose to accept it or not was to get things squared a way in our 3 back rooms and ready for the boss’s boss to help with our inventory that night.  This meant; it better look like it has always been well-kept and organized.  If the big boss only knew…..

So on to my real issue……the love birds.

I have found myself tested with ethics and morals in most of my past jobs but this issue seems to be a tough one.  It actually involves two people.  The other past issues only involved one person and it was usually someone I didn’t care what happened to based on the situation I was put into.  This one is a different kind of issue.

The set up…

Our first back room is a “cooler” (kept at a temp range of 45-55 degrees).  This room has a prep table, 3 tub sink, ice machines, scales and at price label maker along with storage area for produce that can be kept safe at these temps.  Our second back room is a refrigerator (a bit more nippy in there than the cooler), about 90% of our stock goes in there and of course that is where I have to do the brunt of my work. 

So by 4PM I pretty much did the work of what 3 other people couldn’t accomplish in their 8 hour shifts.  So I took a short water break in the cooler to drink some water (along with warm up a bit) and overview the mess in that room.  I was behind a pallet of bananas looking at how I was going to shove 40 lbs of crap in a space that will hold 5 on this shelf, then I start hearing someone setting up our price labeler.   Huh, this is odd……we didn’t have anything on our prep table to be marked down.  And no one ever does their own work, they always leave it for someone else to do. 

I peer around the bananas and see one of our own printing a label but nothing around to price, odd…..

Then this person walked into the refrigerator and came out 2 minutes later without the label or anything else, odd….

I thought nothing more of it since I still had some back-breaking lifting to do.  Back to throwing 40 lb boxes of bananas and 50 lb bags of potatoes around.

As other employees come back to refill their carts of goodies to put on the produce line I talk and joke with each person.  Then one comes back out to tell me a secret.  “Mike come here, I want to show you something….”  I was waiting to be hit over the head with some styrofoam once I walked through the door or something but no.  “Mike, look on that shelf.  What do you see?”

There was a ready-made salad (that we sell a ton of) with one of our price labels on it, hmm odd…….

We don’t do that unless we are trying to get rid of it 1 to 2 days prior to expiration date.  I didn’t even have to touch it to know it was nowhere near expiring since we have been keeping inventory down for our up coming count.  That and it would automatically be put on an ice table on the sales floor.

I’m still not thinking clearly like I am now about anything that I just put together.  So don’t yell at me for not doing something just yet.

Yes, you are right…it does add up to bad.  But still no one did anything wrong, yet.  Nothing was stolen, nothing was paid for, etc, etc.  Plus; here’s the kicker, we are not even sure what do about it anyway.

So, long long story short.  I finally took a break after everyone else had theirs, I go to the break room.  I sit down and lay my head down.  In walks the love birds.  WTH!!!!!  They have already had their breaks and over their allotted time might I add.  I know this because a fellow employee likes to keep track of the time people spend on breaks.  This is the same person that noticed the marked down salad.  Which made another appearance in the break room!!!!  In the hands of not the one that marked it down but the love interest, hmmmm interesting.

So here is where I’m at.  I saw something without actually seeing something.  I saw something else but couldn’t prove it was the thing I saw to begin with.  And now because I didn’t say anything then nothing can be done if anything could have ever been done.

I know I can’t go by what someone else says but according to this person that originally tipped me off about this said this happens almost every night.  To give you an idea this salad sells for around $5.  It was marked down to $1.25.

My boss is already in hot water and losing all this extra money to these individuals doing whatever it is they are doing (call it what you will) I want to protect him and the store. 

What do I do? Should I still say something to the boss?  And how do I say it?

Let me add this….I know saying something to these two individuals will do no good.  It just won’t.