Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

So here I am trying to get over being sick for the second time this winter…. 😦

I needed to cheer myself up so I wrote you all a top 10 list.

Enjoy!

Top Ten Signs You Know You Have The Flu

10. You refused to get a flu shot this year touting you never get sick

9. Doctors have no clue what’s wrong with you

8. You type in your symptoms to WebMD and the top diagnosis is that you are pregnant even though you clicked male as your sex

7. Between the ringing in your ears, the throbbing sound of your headache, your constant puking, and the nagging cough, you think you’re listening to a never-ending Justin Bieber song

5. Your extreme chills cause the thermostat to click on as you walk by

4. Your eyes and nose are so red you cause traffic confusion at intersections

3. You start speed watching seasons 1-3 of “House” on Netflix to figure out how he would have cured the flu

2. You smell like a baboon’s butt and no one complains about it

1. You just realized I skipped #6 and you don’t really care, in fact you’re glad I did

 

 

 

 

Making It Through The Holidays, A Dog’s Tale

I think this story begins just after Thanksgiving……yeah, just after Thanksgiving….

Yummmmmm

Yummmmmm

Well, there go the leftovers!  Turkey, stuffing and mashed taters….everything a growing dog needs.

One holiday down and a few more to go till mommy comes home from her deployment.  We miss the mommy.  The daddy says she comes home in like 6 months.  My brother and I did the math and we think that is like 100 years long.  We’ll have to check our numbers again, it could be longer.

Last year daddy was a little depressed and didn’t do much for the holidays cause mommy was deployed then too.  It was real tough on us too.  This year the daddy is making things more festive.

For Christmas we got a live tree this year.  We didn’t even put up a fake one last year.  We’re not sure if it’s cause he was afraid that we would try to “water it” or he wasn’t in the spirit.  The daddy said we were really lucky because a great organization that likes military families donated Christmas trees to our base this year.  And because the mommy is deployed they picked daddy to specifically get one.  We want to thank the organization “Trees for Troops” for the awesome tree they gave daddy!

Trees for Troops Tree

Trees for Troops Tree

Daddy didn’t want to put ornaments on it because that is what the mommy does each Christmas.  It lets us enjoy the season but still remember that the mommy is not here with us.

Not long after the daddy put up the tree he was sick with the flu.  He wasn’t doing well at all….

Poor daddy......

Poor daddy……

It took the daddy a whole week to get better.  But when he felt better he went back to “Decking the Halls.”

Daddy went all out this year.  He even put up decorations and christmas lights outside.

No lights up high cause daddy doesn't like heights!

No lights up high cause daddy doesn’t like heights!

We like this pic expecially because of the awesome pic in the middle on the mantle!

We like this pic especially because of the awesome pic in the middle on the mantle!

Now all that’s left is to wait for the Santa to show up with all kinds of treats and toys for us to destroy!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

From: Moose, Kenai & The Daddy (aka – Big Mike)

Hey Produce Man!

Hello fellow bloggymabobber peeps!  I know, it’s been a long time since I wrote anything.  Let me tell you about the week or so in this installment of The Commissary Diaries.

A lot has been going on.  I have had my hours increased at work and I’ve been really sick.  It felt like the world collapsed on me.  I woke up, went to work, came home, fell asleep and repeat.  I had no time to do anything.  I didn’t even grocery shop.  I was living off of deli made sandwiches and protein bars.

I am having a hard time trying to recall the past few weeks in my head now.  It has been all a blur.

I got sick the day I had to man the self checkout registers* for 8 hours.  The one thing that really sticks in my mind was this one customer telling me she was just getting over the flu and a sinus infection.  I think she touched me or I was a little to close to her when she was talking.  Either way I figure got her cooties.  Since that day my head has felt as if it is 3 times it’s normal size (and I have a big head to begin with), my nose won’t stop running but yet it’s always clogged, my legs are weak and my lower back hurts as if I’ve been carrying a refrigerator all day.  Did I mention the frequent sneezing jags and liquids shooting out of both ends?  You’re welcome for the visual (if you didn’t have one, you do now).

I’m not looking for a pity party from ya but some hot chicken soup would be gladly accepted and appreciated if sent my way.

*Side not on the self checkout registers: There is nothing self checkouty about them with our customers.  I would say 90% of the customers are morons and should not be allowed to use them.  I proposed a test for all customers and if they don’t get a specific score they are restricted to only have other people ring them up.  Of course I was laughed at.  But I could have eliminated most people with my first question.  If you’re curious about the question, here it is: Have you ever successfully checked yourself out at our self checkout registers without any assistance?  That would constituted an immediate 95% failure off the bat.

A lot has been going on a work.  Not that you care and don’t worry I won’t give you the step by step story.  A few weeks ago we closed the store down for 3 days to do a reset of all the shelved items (that would be approximately all 20,000 different sku’ed items).  It was a total cluster F#@&.  Needless to say we are still reeling from the poor leadership of the change.  And of course since we reopened customers unload their dislike on us poor innocent cashiers.  There is no one for us to tell cause no one cares.  So, whatever….

My supervisor recently left for a new job in a different agency.  Right before that she denied my leave to go to my best friend’s wedding.  I’m beyond PO’ed.  I got this story about how she knew she was leaving so she passed it off to the person that is replacing her.  Meantime, two other people had submitted leave for the approximate same time and she approved theirs.  So no open bar for me at my buddies wedding.

I do have some good news though.  Out of the dust always rises the Phoenix, right?  Well, sort of.  Prior to my supervisor leaving she had to give everyone their “yearly” performance reviews.  Keep in mind I have only been there for 4-5 months.  I asked why I even received one since I have not been able to experience everything possible within that 1 year time frame.  “Oh, it’s just standard procedure that we do this regardless of your tenure.”  I call Horse Ish!  Well I didn’t receive a poor review just not an extremely great one.  I was rated as average or according to their terminology “Fully Acceptable.”  Basically that means no raise or bonus right now.  It’s all good because I know I’m a good employee.  I out work others around me on a daily basis with no desire to brown nose the bosses (like the ones who received bonuses and raises).  There’s more to the story but it’s all just a rant on my part.  So I will spare you the drama.

On to the rising Phoenix!  Yeah, about that no raise and no bonus……I got a promotion instead.  You now know the new Produce Man of the base commissary!  If this were a true promotion there would have been a substantial raise and actual GS level increase.  But since it’s just a move it is only a prestige thing for now.  In the future it could become an all around true promotion.  Either way, I now get to feel up your fruit before you buy it. 🙂

Oh and I’m also feeling much better now.

Thanks for stopping by and reading.